Top Secret ✔

Chapter 27 || Tears

I cried while writing this chapter :'(

BRACE YOURSELVES, GUYS. THAT'S ALL THAT I CAN SAY.

Chapter 27 || Tears

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"I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?" - Stay With Me by Sam Smith

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      The funeral was a sombre occasion.

But then again, most funerals were.

It surprised me at first, when I saw the number of people who turned up for the funeral. A part of me was happy; my mum had touched these many people in her life. Surely she would be happy to go then?

"I'm sorry for your loss," that was what almost everyone who had came in had said to Liz and I when we were greeting the guests that came in at first.

What were they sorry for anyway?

My mum's death had nothing to do with them. It's not like they waved their magic wand and made my mum get cancer or something.

I was so sick of the same lines being repeated over and over again that I just retreated back to the cold, stiff, wooden bench. I held my head between my hands which were leaning on my knees and took a huge breath.

No more tears, Ari. No more tears.

The pain of losing a loved one was indescribable. No words can possibly fathom the pain and grief you feel when reality comes barging through your door with a freaking sledgehammer.

I would never see her again.

That particular realisation had me on my knees, my face buried into my hands, and no one left to comfort me. No one left to hold my hand and tell me that everything was alright. No one left to say that they would forever remain on my side. No one left that would forgive you no matter what you did.

No one.

Why, God?

Why must it be so soon? I thought I had at least a month, but He just took her away from me way too soon.

I had hoped that this was all just a prank, that mum would suddenly get up from the coffin and laugh at me for being so gullible. But when people were finally stepping into the cold church and when the priest started speaking, I knew that without a doubt; it was real.

"Today, we are gathered here to celebrate the life of a very special person. Debby has enlightened our lives in more ways than one, and we are truly sad to see her go. Alas, God loved her more than we ever could and she was called to join the angels."

I zoned out the rest of the priest's speech. As a family member, both Liz and I sat at the front row. But Liz had Jim by her side while she sobbed. But me? Who do I have left?

I stared blankly as the priest finished his speech. "Now, I would like to call upon Debby's daughters, Elizabeth and Arianna to speak a few words."

Everyone was quiet and all eyes were trained onto both of us. I looked at a teary-eyed Liz with a blank stare.

I couldn't feel anything. I was numb.

She took my hand and together, we walked to the podium. I tried my best not to stare at the huge picture of mum that was placed on a tripod. Seeing her once-smiling face would kill me.

I adjusted the black dress Liz had dug out from my mum's closet. It didn't fit me well, but it was owned by my mum, which held more sentimental value and much more important than my looks. Plus, it only seemed fitting if I wore it for this occasion.