A Glass Of Crimson Souls

23) they say love is blind

Chapter 23: They Say Love is Blind

Itachi was resting in a bed for the first time in several weeks. Staking out Suna was hard work, given that a sandstorm was perpetually brewing in the horizon and the new Kazekage was more than formidable. Not that he would give Itachi or Kisame any particular difficulty should things come to an actual skirmish, but the Kazekage was young and well, while Itachi was not. He knew that his strength was slowly decreasing.

Rather, it was not that he knew his strength was decreasing-it was more like he ensured it. The pills and medicinal recommendations that Miho had prescribed him were stashed away, untouched, in a white plastic container tucked in the depths of Itachi's belongings. The time was drawing near for Sasuke to begin his move, but even after three years, Itachi doubted that he could fool Sasuke into believing that he was putting up a fight if he was fully recovered. Miho's treatment was always alarmingly successful, and after the last treatment back in Kirigakure, Itachi had the slightest feeling that he would be completely cured the next time he saw Miho.

Which was not according to plan.

He could not believe the temptations that Fate kept throwing at him. First, it was Miho's return from the dead. A reminder that someone he thought he'd killed was actually well and alive. With her return came an influx of old memories, a recollection of the past, the hint of a possibility...but Miho hated him, just like Sasuke did, and Itachi was fine with that-he deserved to be hated, he wanted to be hated so there would be nothing tugging him to remain alive.

But then the second twist came: Miho still loved him. And it wasn't even a hesitant love that came only after knowing The Truth-it was a completely blind, unconditional love that he-no, a love that no one deserved. Miho was the epitome of irony: the worst shinobi to the village but the best to the ones she loved in turn. No one in the shinobi world deserved her care because it was foolhardy and destined for tragedy. Yet a voice in the back of his head that he'd long buried suddenly revived, and it kept urging him-perhaps he was making a mistake, maybe he couldlive, maybe he deserved it...and it grew with every passing second in Miho's presence. The times when they were together, far away from Konoha, Akatsuki, disease and responsibility; Miho was his cure and curse all in one.

But disease was disease, and Itachi convinced himself that the handholding and kisses and sex and love were all transient; his body was deteriorating and the Mangekyou use exacerbated it. He had managed to hide his debilitating eyesight from Miho-he had his heart to thank for that, for a heart disease was more important than blindness-but he knew that in more ways than one, light was slowly disappearing from his life. There would be no way to stop it. He was resigned to this fact-he would die of this disease but at the hands of Sasuke, and his life would be complete in ignominy. The greatest, most hated, but most perfect shinobi to walk on the face of the planet.

And then Miho tempted him again. She could cure his disease. She would cure him.

When she had told him, he thought his heart would stop. If he could be healthy, then what exactly was his excuse for dying other than pure self-sacrifice?

Of course, reminded his conscience. That's all you are, that's all you've ever wanted to be. The scapegoat, the hated one while Sasuke triumphed in glory. That's who you are; this is what you deserve because no matter the reason, you are a murderer who killed your own family. You remember your parents' dying wish, Itachi-it was to protect Sasuke, and this is what you are doing. Miho is just an obstacle; she is a temptation, but she is not what you live for.

He knew this. He knew it all.

Yet.

Yet.

Yet.