just fall | ✓

35.

I left for Illéa quietly in the morning, just as the dawn was beginning to light up the sky. Salvatore was already in New Asia, likely having the time of his life with Liev and the other royals, and the rest of my cousins were sleeping or in Swendway with their parents or France with my mother. None of the guards or servants spoke much to me, possibly due to the dark mood I was in; regardless of how I felt about the Illéans now, I was in no great rush to return to their gilded cage. Part of me feared for the worst: that I would return and they would trap me by marriage or some other means, and I'd never be free again. It was not a prospect that I was willing to entertain.

As soon as I arrived, I learned that perhaps I wouldn't have to worry at all about any potential plots that could have been underfoot: the king had fallen ill the week before my arrival and was bedridden. The queen and Aquia were constantly by his side and helping to tend to him, and so it had fallen to Alexander to run the country while Mason was going between Germany, France, and Swendway to renegotiate some trade agreements and various treaties, a job that normally would have fallen to Alexander or the king himself. I was whisked away to a room that I recognized as having once been used during the Selection; the decor had changed, but the room itself felt familiar. So were the three women in it.

Jasmine, Opal, and Glory – my maids from the Selection – let out yells of delight and raced forward to hug me. I embraced them all, laughing, and for a moment we were three former friends that hadn't seen each other in years rather than a princess and three maids. They then recalled their station and dropped back into curtsies, but I laughingly waved them off. "There's no point in all of that," I told them, "you've known me for how long?"

"Yes, Miss," Jasmine said, "but you're no longer one of the Selected. You're a visiting princess here on diplomatic duties. We must be formal."

I smiled. "Only when others are around. You know how I feel about all of that formality. It's exhausting."

Opal giggled. "We remember, Miss. It was quite an adjustment."

We all laughed. I spent a while catching up with them; I hadn't realized how much I missed them until then. I'd forgotten how much better they made my time in Angeles, and as we sat on my bed and talked, I made a mental note to keep in touch with them after I returned to Italy.

☼

Alexander was in a different office than his old one when I was sent to visit him the following day. This one was grander, with a softer carpet and fancier furniture and more windows. The curtains were all open, letting in golden sunlight. The light was hitting everything in a way that made it look like it was glowing, everything as bright as the cottage that first day. I didn't notice it then.

Alexander himself was standing behind his desk, chair pushed aside behind him. His hands were braced on the wooden desk, and he stood hunched over the papers spread out and studied them with several faint creases between his eyebrows. In spite of all of the stress he was most certainly under, gone were the dark smudges beneath his eyes and the paleness just under the surface of his skin; he looked healthier than I'd ever seen him.

As soon as I stepped into the office, I felt out of place – I no longer belonged here. Gone was quiet Cassiana that wore comparatively modest gowns and tried not to rock the boat, and in her place stood...well, me. Cassiana the Italian princess, the diplomat, the one whose job was literally to argue things and stir up shit to make actual progress. I folded my arms over my chest; my gown wasn't immodest, but it certainly wasn't something that I would've worn back when I was in the Selection, and it showed a lot more cleavage than I had ever shown here.

It was the door shutting behind me that pulled him out of whatever budget he was going over, and his movements were slow as he moved his head to look up at me. For a moment, he said nothing and looked over me like he hadn't seen me in years. Then, he straightened and said, "Princess Cassiana, it's a pleasure to see you again." He moved from behind his desk and offered me his hand.