just fall | ✓

epilogue.

Never in my life did I think that I would know a happiness like this.

Alexander climbed onto our bed, still in his suit, clearly exhausted but doing a great job of pretending not to be. He'd been hard at work over the last week, barely getting sleep because of all of the work he was drowning in. But he smiled as he wrapped his arms around us, pulling us against his chest and burying his face in my hair.

"I'm exhausted," he sighed.

"Quiet," I whispered. "You'll wake her."

He smiled down at the sleeping infant in my arms. "Our little miracle," he mused. He smiled at me. "We made her."

"We did." I leaned my head against his shoulder, smiling down at our baby girl.

"I never thought I'd come to my room after a long day of work to my beautiful wife and my beautiful daughter," he admitted. "Yet here I am, holding my little family." He kissed the side of my head.

"It's better than I could've imagined," I told him. "I had never thought that I would fall in love, and here I am."

He kissed my lips. "We could have more," he told me. "We're young. I know it took a while, but we could do it."

I snuggled closer to him. "I'd like that," I said. "More little ones running around, half me and half you? I'd love to try, even if it won't be easy."

"It's us," he chuckled. "When is anything ever easy?"

"You make a solid argument," I said. I paused. "You really want more?"

"I want as many more as you're willing to have," he said. "I quite enjoy the process of making them."

I buried my face in his shoulder to muffle my laughter. "I've noticed," I told him. "Believe me, I've noticed."

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it," he said, grinning. "Last I checked, you very much enjoy it."

"Ever heard of acting?"

"Ouch."

"Kidding."

"That won't fix my now-wounded pride."

I smiled and shrugged. "Guess you'll just have to try harder in the future."

"Oh, I certainly will," he said. "You're going to regret that joke."

"Good." I kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Aurelia stirred in my arms, and we held our breath for a second, waiting for her to wake up. But she just shifted in my arms and let out a tiny sigh, her little eyes still shut. "My God, she's so tiny," he whispered. "I love her so much." I would have laughed, but the look in his eyes shut me up. I felt like I was falling in love all over again.

"Me too," I said. "She's perfect."

"And she's ours." We shared a smile. "I'm glad you found your way back to me, Cassiana."

"I'm glad, too," I said. "Caged or not, I don't think I could've been this happy if I had stayed in Italy."

"I know I wouldn't have been this happy if you had stayed in Italy," he replied. "You make me feel things that I didn't know existed. I've never felt emotions the way you make me feel them. I didn't think it was possible to feel so much before I met you."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Definitely," he said. "I used to need pain to feel alive. Then I needed some type of escape. And then I met you, and all I needed was to breath and I felt alive. I can't remember a time before you that I could look at everything around me and be greatful for my own existence. Sometimes it feels like life before you was a nightmare that you saved me from?"

"And now?"

"Now it just...is. It's hard to hate life when there's so much worth living for." He smiled down at Aurelia. "I can't imagine being so full of anger and pain now."

"That means you've changed," I told him. "And it's a good thing. Though I certainly didn't do it."

"You didn't," he agreed. "It was all me. But you were certainly a catalyst." He shot me a small smile as he reached out to touch our daughter's tiny hand. "I never once thought about all of those ugly things after you left, you know. It hurt and it felt like I couldn't breathe and I had thought that the pain would kill me, but I didn't want it to. That dulled my pain for a little while. And then it started to hurt again, because I was better but I'd lost the woman I loved."

"You have me now," I reminded him.

He smiled at me, this one bigger and brighter than the last. "I do," he conceded. "And you've given me so much more than I could ever give you." He looked down at our daughter once again. 

"You gave me my family," I said. "My home. You contributed to our daughter, so I guess that counts, although I suffered and did all of the work for it."

He laughed. "You did," he agreed. "You definitely did. Is she worth it?"

"She is worth every second of it." There was no doubt in me. I smiled up at him. "Let's have another." I said. "I think I like having children after all."

He grinned down at me. "You don't need to convince me."

"Good. I wasn't trying to."

He pulled me closer. "You know what? Smart mouth aside, I'm glad Clara manipulated the Selection to pick you. You're a pain in my ass, but you're a cute pain in my ass."

"You're only just realizing how thankful you are for your younger sister setting us up? Seriously?"

"Yes, Cassiana, I'm only just coming to this conclusion." He rolled his eyes. "You're lucky I love you."

"I think you're the lucky one here."

"How about we're both lucky?"

"I can accept that. You're luckier though."

Another eye roll. "Why did I marry you again?"

I gestured to the baby in my arms. "We make cute children. We have some great genetics."

He laughed. "Great observation, you're absolutely correct."

I grinned up at him. "I know."

Needless to say, it was the start of a very happy life together. Maybe things didn't work out the way that we had planned–at all, at any point in time–but that was part of the adventure. Maybe it would've been easier to just fall, but even if I could, I wouldn't change anything. It was chaotic and messy and hard, but it was mine, and that was what mattered most.

☼