just fall | ✓

37.

While Alexander was in the shower, I had slipped into one of his t-shirts and crawled under the covers on his bed. It was warm and it smelled like him, and the sheets were soft and comfy. I hadn't realized how tired and sore I was until I sank down into the bed. I stayed sitting up; I wasn't quite uncomfortable, but I didn't exactly know what to do.

When he came out of the bathroom, he was dressed in just a pair of pajama pants. His hair was still a little wet, and a few drops of water were on his shoulders. He smiled and climbed into bed with me, and we just sat and looked at each other.

"We should go to sleep," I said.

He nodded in agreement; we both laid down. He reached over and shut off the light. Click. The only light in the room was the stray bits of moonlight that snuck in past the curtains that were messily drawn over the doors to the balcony. The room was totally silent except for our breathing.

There was a lot of space between us; I couldn't even feel the heat from his body. He shifted a little; I tried to deepen my breaths, but for some reason, I didn't want to close my eyes, so there wasn't really a chance of me falling asleep. I was tempted to reach out to him, my skin wanting physical proof of his presence somewhere distantly near me.

"You're far away," he said quietly, as if reading my thoughts. 

My pulse sped up. "Do you want me closer?"

"Yes," he said, without hesitation. Then, "Do you want to be closer?"

I nodded, then realized that he couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"Then come here."

I slid closer to the center of the bed and into his waiting arms. He pulled me closer, and I rested my head against his chest. He was really warm, and I closed my eyes, sinking into him. Something was nagging at me. Without realizing it, my fingertips traced patterns over his bare skin.

"What's wrong?" He asked, voice heavy with exhaustion.

"Nothing," I yawned. "I'm just...thinking."

"About?"

I shrugged. There was some silence. Then, I said, "I just realized something."

"What?"

"The last time we did this was in the cottage."

There was a beat of silence; his heartbeat was slow and steady, and so was his breathing, so I assumed that he had fallen asleep. It startled me when he began to speak. "I think that was the only time, too." He chuckled a little; it rumbled through his chest. "I still remember waking up with you in my arms. I think that might've been the moment I realized I was in love with you."

"I looked like a mess."

"Nah, you didn't." His grip tightened around me a little. "My second thought that morning was I'd like to wake up to this every day for the rest of my life."

"And the first?"

"Incoherent confusion over how we had ended up that way."

I let out a snort of laughter. "Not nearly as romantic as the second, but still cute."

"I'm glad you find my incoherent confusion endearing."

I shifted a little and snuggled closer. "'S just because it's you," I mumbled. "I'm kind of in love with you."

He stilled beneath me, but I was too far gone to realize it. My eyes and limbs were too heavy and my thoughts too sluggish. Everything around me was fading quickly.

I was awake just long enough to feel him smooth down my hair and kiss the top of my head. Just as I began to fall asleep, I heard him say, "I love you too, Cassiana."