just fall | ✓

23.

I should've been sleeping after the Report, but I'd found that I couldn't, so instead I sat up reading on the balcony. The day's humidity had mostly faded, leaving behind a hot night and cool breeze that blew stray hairs into my face. My maids often tied my hair in a knot at the top of my head each night before I slept in an attempt to help me stay cool, somehow making it nearly perfect even though they only used a thick fabric hair tie to secure it. There were always a few wisps of hair at the nape of my neck and framing my face that fell from it, but it was still perfectly functional. 

There was a knock on my door, a light, hurried sound. It was two quick, simple taps against the wood, so quiet that I nearly disregarded it as my tired mind playing tricks on me. When I heard them again, I glanced warily at the clock – it was nearing two in the morning – and then marked my page with a strip of blue ribbon and shut the book. I sat it on my chair and stood slowly, making my way towards the door.

There was another set of quick knocks just as I reached the door, and I pulled back the locks but kept the deadbolt in place, opening it as far as the chain would let me, and peeked into the hall.

I had been expecting Aquia or Clara or one of the princes. I hadn't expected it to be a group of Selected. At the front of the group was Blossom, backed by Jade, Zaltana, Braelyn, Calla, Eden, Jing, and Maia. Celine, Odetta, Belle, Mima, and Shane were nowhere to be seen.

"You all do realize that it's nearly two in the morning, don't you?" I whispered. Although none of them seemed very threatening, I didn't undo the deadbolt. I didn't trust them as far as I could throw any of them.

"Of course," Blossom replied, voice low. "Can we come in? I'd hate to draw attention from the guards."

"Not to be rude, but no. What is it?"

"We wanted to talk," Zaltana whispered, her words catching on her thick Panama accent. The people from Panama and Honderagua spoke much differently from the rest of us because before Illéa, they hadn't spoken much (or any) English. The little countries that had made up Illéa's south had all spoken Spanish, and although they did still speak bits and pieces of it, they were better known for their beautiful, mellifluous accent. "We have some things to tell you."

"About?"

"The competition." This was from Eden. "We heard about what you did during Prince Alexander's birthday party. We wanted to apologize for how we'd acted before."

I knew that it was stupid, but but after a second's hesitation, I shut the door real quick to unfasten the deadbolt and then opened the door. "I'll listen," I said, "but any funny business and I won't hesitate to kick your asses, understood?"

They all quickly nodded and I stepped aside, letting them shuffle in. They were all in their nightgowns, each a different color, most trimmed with lace. After some looking around, they ended up seating themselves on the floor in a sort of circle, a few girls pulling up the chairs from the balcony and the little sitting area and my desk. I sat on my bed with my legs crossed. With the door shut, we could speak at a normal volume. "So what's this about?"

"We felt bad," Jade said, tucking some hair behind her ear. In the low light, her eyes looked black. "I can't really speak for everyone else, but I've spent a lot of this time judging you because you were an Eight. I guess I put too much faith in the tabloids. I'm sorry for that."

Eden was beside her, and she spoke next. "I've been doing that too. And I was jealous because I thought that Prince Mason was interested in you. I'm sorry."

Each of them explained why they had felt the way that they had and apologized for it, and their apologies all seemed genuine. I had absolutely no idea of what to do or how to respond or react; no one had ever apologized to me, especially not for treating me unfairly. 

After they had all finished speaking, they looked at me like they were expecting me to say something. I opened my mouth to speak, closed it. Repeated that a few times. I mean, what was the proper response to that kind of thing? I settled for, "I appreciate you guys coming clean and apologizing and all, but what inspired this?"

"You defended us," Jing said. "Absolutely none of us have treated you very well, yet you threw yourself between us and the rebels without hesitating to debate it."

"And then you could've retreated, but you chose to stand and fight with the princes anyway," Calla added. "I don't know anyone that would disregard their own safety like that for people she didn't know or had mistreated her. You didn't hide. You just...fought."

"I'm no hero," I warned them. "Knowing how to handle a gun doesn't make a hero. Stupidly throwing yourself in the path of a bullet doesn't make a hero. Heroes don't break the law, regardless of the situation. I'm just some dumb Eight from Kent that's used to doing what she has to and worrying about her safety afterwards."

"And?" Eden didn't look convinced. Or like she cared, for that matter. "You literally saved all of our lives. The princes themselves said that they didn't have enough bullets between them to take out all of them."

"One of them gave me the gun," I helpfully informed her. "They'd have had plenty."

"They said that they were a few short," Jade argued. "They were saying that you took out several with one bullet, and that you took out another with a switchblade."

I shrugged. "It's not that hard," I grumbled, my face getting a little hot. I didn't like people staring at me like I'd saved the damn world. I wasn't a hero in a ballgown, I was a criminal. One that should've been hanged but miraculously wasn't. What was wrong with these people? It's like they thought that I led a wonderful, glamorous, gun-toting life or some shit. I guess they didn't realize that real life wasn't like whatever dream they drifted through each day, tucked away in mansions and pretty houses and protected by government propaganda and money. There's no way to politely say that, and I was trying to be a little less callous and sharp-tongued, so I kept my mouth shut to avoid saying something offensive. It was harder than it seems.

"Look," Blossom said, "we're not saying that you're a hero or anything. If any of the stories about you are true, I don't think that anyone in this room would stick you with that label. We've just all come to an agreement that no man – or men – is worth the petty drama. We don't expect forgiveness or friendship or any of that, but we'd at least like to move forward with our lives and have a support system rather than all of this toxicity and backstabbing."

"I respect that." I nodded my head. "More than respect it. I'm not expecting friendship from any of you, but support and friendliness would be nice. Can we all put aside our differences?"

The girls all nodded. "We can," they said, not in unison.

"I have a question." It was Braelyn. We all looked at her, and she shrunk just a little. "Could...is friendship possible? Because that sounds pretty nice."

Everyone, shockingly, looked at me. I didn't realize then that once more, a group had unanimously chosen me as their leader. I found myself straightening my shoulders fractionally. "Completely possible," I told her. "If all of you are willing to associate with a gutter rat criminal such as myself." I felt my face break into a slow smile.

The girls responded with smiles of their own, and we found ourselves laughing. Zaltana, voice strong and steady over the slowly fading laughter, said, "It would be an honor to be friends with a gutter rat criminal such as yourself."

"Well then, I guess it's settled." I looked around at this strange group of girls, most of them far higher in caste than I but still as distant from each other as the stars. "Friendship it is."