SHADOW

Vladimir

I left her apartment before she woke up. I'd think of a lame excuse to tell her later.

I had grown restless in bed with her and I couldn't take another moment of pretending to be comfortable.

I ran a hand over my face in frustration as I left out of her building.

My car was somewhere across the street.

It took me a few minutes to find my car. I unlocked it, and slipped inside, laying my head back and took a deep breath.

I lifted my hand and placed it over my chest where my heart was supposed to be. There was nothing there— nothing at all.

I wonder if the heart actually held a person's empathy and emotions because I wish I could feel some of those things. Sex with her was great, but after I felt like a hollow shell.

I felt empty. And not the typical emptiness that made me want to go crazy. I had become somewhat accustomed to that. This emptiness hurt. It made me feel weak.

I pushed my key into the ignition, and peeled away from her building, leaving it in the distance. I'd be back. I just needed my space.

I wish I could've stayed longer, but I physically and mentally couldn't stay in that room with her for another second. I felt like I couldn't breathe in there.

I drove for a while, no destination in mind. I didn't want to be anywhere, but I felt like I needed to be somewhere. Or at least I felt like I should be.

I wondered what humans categorized this feeling as.

Maybe it was anxiety. Whatever it is was horrible—filled with contradictions. I was empty, but my chest felt so full that it ached.

I felt like jumping out of my skin and screaming until my voice cracked.

I tightened one hand on the steering wheel before I grabbed my phone. I unlocked it, opening my recent calls tab, my thumb hovering over the screen hesitantly.

Was I really going to go through with this?

I quickly made a decision and pressed down on the screen and held the phone to my ear, listening to it ring.

"Hello?"

"I need you...Vladimir."

It was silent for a second before he answered.

"Where are you?"

"I'm close to our spot. Come please."

"On my way."

The line clicked, silence reigning over again. I was so glad he didn't ask questions. I rarely went to him for anything, but today I needed him.

I headed back home. I wasn't too far out, maybe 15 or 20 minutes.

As soon as I made it home, I slipped out of my car, and locked it before heading into the forest. Usually I always made sure that I put my car in the garage before I did anything because I hated the idea of getting my car dirty but today I didn't give a damn about my car.

Vlad was already here. As soon as I stepped into the clearing I saw him. His hair had gotten lighter since I had seen him, and longer too.

He smiled at me, his hazel eyes gleaming in adoration as I approached him. He pulled me into a tight hug and I let him. Vlad pulled away shortly after, holding me at arms-length, looking over me intently. "You're not well?"

I shook my head, "I'm not."

He let his hands fall back to his side and nodded. "I thought so."

I followed after him as he ventured deeper into the clearing. "How?"