SHADOW

Part 39

I stared off at the wall opposite of me.

The room was as still as my heart. I was barely even aware of her beating heart; it was background noise to me.

The only thing that I was really aware of at the present moment was Jayde's fingers running over my scalp.

My chest still ached, but I was safe here. We hadn't spoken in at least an hour, there was nothing really to say. Our energies spoke for themselves.

There was a palpable pain emanating from the both of us for two separate reasons.

I was mourning the loss of Athena, and Jayde was mourning her broken spirit, her shattered dignity and maybe even her loss of willpower against me.

Or maybe it was none of those things, maybe it was because she knew I wasn't hers— that I would probably never be hers.

Her fingers hesitated momentarily before they continued to run through my hair.

I rolled on my back to look up at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quietly, her voice barely audible.

I knew better than to believe her. My suspicions were confirmed when a salty tear dripped on to my face. I sat up slowly, wiping away her silent tears as more fell over her water line.

She closed her eyes to will away the tears but every time she opened them more fell. They came faster and somehow quieter than the last set.

After a while I stopped wiping them away and instead watched them travel down her face where they collected on her chin before falling on to her lap.

I pushed hair from in front of her face, stroking over her cheek, and over her lips before I pulled her into a hug.

Jayde molded to my body, her head nestled in the crook of my neck. Her tears stuck to my skin, but I didn't mind.

I held her, no words forming in my head. How could you make someone feel better in a situation like this?

Sure, I could be who I usually was and manipulate her with loving words and a few empty promises that I could never fulfill, but why?? I couldn't see myself purposefully hurting her more than I already was.

It was cruel even for me, and besides I loved her. I wanted to make the most of the time we had together, however long that was.

I stroked her back soothingly, feeling the vibration of her body as she cried.

"Do you love me?" I asked after a few moments.

Of course I already knew the answer to that, but I needed to hear it. I hadn't heard her say those words in so long and I had forgotten what they sounded like leaving her mouth.

She was silent for a while.

A minute of complete silence passed.

I sighed. I guess I could be content with what I had right now. I still couldn't ignore the fact that my feelings were hurt. I had no right to be, so I stayed stoically silent.

"I'm sorry..."

"For?"

She pushed herself to sit up, wiping at her red eyes. They were slightly puffy and her eyelashes were dark and clumped together. Somehow she still managed to look beautiful.

"I just feel so vulnerable to everything, especially you." "I-I just can't tell you. You don't deserve that from me."

At first I wanted to argue with her, but just as suddenly as I had ignited that fire, it burnt out.

She was right, I didn't deserve those words from her, but that didn't stop me from craving them.

They always sounded so good falling from her lips.

"Fair."

I smiled at her softly, subtly letting my eyes roam over her face, committing every single possible detail I could take in. Maybe it was time to go.

Jayde frowned, her eyebrow scrunching in disappointment. "You're leaving?"

"Maybe, it's for the best right now."

Her face contorted into an even deeper frown before her eyes filled with angry tears.

"Stop," I said sternly, tipping her chin up with my thumb and pointer finger. "I don't have to leave I'm sorry for even saying that. We can-"

"Don't tell me anything if it doesn't involve me going home with you."

"And what do you want to come of that," I asked seriously. "What do you expect from me?"

She looked at me hopefully, a certain subtle sadness nestled deep in her irises. "I want to feel like I'm not disposable to you."

"You're not disposable," I said simply, averting my eyes to look at something other than the pain her entire being had been exuding since I arrived. "Go get some stuff. We're leaving."

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A/N: Happy Sunday guys!

1) Do you see Jayde taking Robyn back or are they too far gone