SHADOW

Home is Where You Are

Scent for scent.

Athena's scent had dominated this place for so long, and it still lingered, but as I watched Jayde skim her fingers over different objects I knew her reign would soon be over.

Jayde's scent was so strong and distinguishable to me. It had the power to mask most scents.

I stood back with my arm's crossed over my chest, reveling at the fact that she was actually in my house. After all these months she was in front of me , in the place I adored the most.

"Are we going to speak at all while you're here?" I asked after a few more silent minutes between us.

She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me, cocking her head. "Yes, but it's you that should have things to say, not the other way around."

I nodded in acceptance, approaching her. "And what is it that you want me to say? That I want you? I love you??"

She shook her head, her eyes glimmering with something I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"No..." "I want you to tell me why you're here with me right now."

"You asked to be here with me."

"Where's your girlfriend," she asked, a slight condescending lilt accompanying her tone.

I frowned, "she's not my girlfriend, and at home I assume."

"You know what I mean, Robyn. If I'm here, where is she?"

The ache in my chest resurfaced again. I swallowed hard, trying my best to push the sensation to the back of my mind while I spoke to Jayde. "I confessed that I had been seeing you and she sent me away...told me to never come back."

She laughed, turning her back to me, putting at least a foot of space between us. "At least I know I'm not the first choice. You're only here because she's not available to you anymore, right?"

"Jayde," I sighed, reaching for her hand.

As soon as we made skin to skin contact she snatched her hand away, whirling around to face me, the fire that I loved, burning bright in her eyes.

I half expected her to hit me, but she didn't.

"Don't say my name like that! You're only here because she doesn't want you anymore. You know how horrible you are, right?" Her voice had rose a decibel and her fists were now clenched in tight balls at her sides.

I know she wanted to hit me, the only thing stopping her was past experience. "Actually you're not even a fucking person. I should've known you weren't here because you really wanted me. You left for almost two weeks without anything and then just comeback."

Angry tears welled in her eyes, but she wiped them away harshly before they could fall. "I should've known not to come with you, but I want to be with you so fucking bad that it hurts. You don't give a fuck about me Robyn."

I spoke softly, "Jayde..."

"Fuck you!" she spat, her anger finally boiling over as she shoved me hard. I didn't move an inch.

"Jayde," I said again, attempting to grab for her hand.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me. I want to go home...now."

"You're not going anywhere," I said calmly.

"Fuck you, Robyn...fuck you."

"Jayde," I snapped.

She jumped, her pupils dilating slightly at the change in my tone.

I quickly changed my voice, shaking my head apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice at you like that."

She was quiet.

"I didn't come see you or talk to you because I was avoiding you both. I thought that if I was away from you both I would be able to clear my head better. I didn't even eat while I was away from you both."

"You still saw her first," she said after a moment of silence.

"She called me nonstop for however long I was gone...you called me twice."

"It doesn't matter how many times I called you, I would've called you as many times as she did, you still would've seen her first."

"But it wasn't like that," I argued. "You were unconcerned with me anyway. I saw you today and I knew that look in your eyes. You finally had one good day where I only crossed your mind once and you started to believe that you could get over me."

"Jayde," I said earnestly. "I know you don't trust me, there's nothing really to trust after what I did to you, but I need you to understand now it's always been you."

There was a moment where it looked like she almost believed me, but that was short lived. She wiped the hopeful expression off of her face and shook her head slowly. "I wish you meant that..."

I frowned, annoyed with the way this was going. I had no right to be, and yet here I was.

"Jayde just please-"

"Please what?!" she said, finally snapping. "Please trust you? Please love you? I've already done that and look where it got me." "I want what you're offering me, but I don't trust you. You'll just take it away...and I know if she decides to come back you'll go to her because you'll always choose her over me."

A flash of pain pierced through her deep brown eyes, sparkling with on coming tears. "Why do I have to beg to be chosen by you. I deserve roses...I deserve so much bigger."

I stood there quietly. "I don't want to lose you..."

"Then why couldn't you act like this before? Why couldn't you tell me that I was the one before? You don't want me. You just want someone to make you forget how lonely you are."

"I am fucking lonely, Jayde! I always have been. Did you think that this life had anything else to offer me?"

This was the first time I had lost the calmness that I fought so hard to exude. I couldn't stay calm. I was going to lose her.

"I have one real person and that's only because he fucking made me. He saw me dying and he pitied me. I'm always lonely...Jayde. Before I died and after I died...it's all the same."

"Then be lonely by yourself."
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A/N: I have nothing to promote but this is dedicated to sofia012678