Two Can Play That Game

Chapter 5

Bianca

I feel like I'm in jail, or death row right now. Arriving here was hell with everyone making me feel like one of the shittiest people alive on earth by all of the things they were saying. I'm not intentional killer. It's not like the damn thing is born yet for me to actually even kill.

I shake my head and blow out a deep breath as I just try to finish up filling out all of the paperwork, all the while I feel a wave of nausea consume me, having me place my clipboard down and run to the nearest bathroom. I get into the dingy bathroom and feel depressed when I hunch over the toilet in one of the stalls and hear the girl next to me doing the same thing.

I'd rather not be in an abortion clinic, of course, but I have no other choice. Devante has left me no other choice. He's just completely thrown me away, but now he keeps trying to explain himself to me. Doesn't he understand that he broke up with me and that I get it? He doesn't have to keep trying to clear his name, besides I already know what type of person he is now.

My tears plop into the toilet as I sob one last time for the fact that I actually lost him. The only guy I've ever loved and ever saw myself having a life with is a complete heartless asshole and I lost him.

No, he lost me.

Or so I want to believe.

I wipe my face and get myself together before I get and flush the toilet along with my last pregnancy experience. I suppose Aaliyah was right in this. She's really a good friend, watching out for me and striving to get me to do the right thing at all times, but this I could not just listen to her on.

I can't keep this baby!

My parents would kill me, then kill Devante. Oh god, Devante! I don't want him to ever find out that I was pregnant because I don't want his pity or his guilty feeling to come back and be with me again.

I want him to want me for me and what we had.

Not want me because he doesn't want to seem like more of a heartless asshole by leaving me alone with his child. Sighing sadly, I walk out of the bathroom and get the chills as the receptionist calls my name.

"Bianca Lawson?"

My stomach starts to churn, but I ignore the urge to puke and stand up. Once I reach the desk, I realize that I didn't finish filling out my paperwork.

"Excuse me. I haven't finished, I got a little sick." I mention and the lady looks up at me boredom and then sighs.

"Fine, you can fill it out back there. Let me see some identification and you'll be all set."

I nod my head slowly and everything after that feels like slow motion. My shaky hands struggle to get my wallet out of my bag and my ID out of the slot. I hand it to her and she looks at it, about to start entering the information but then everything shatters in my life.

I feel him before I see him.

"Oh shit." I whisper frighteningly, because that's exactly what I am.

What is even doing here!?

I'm terrified of what he's going to say, how he's going to react — what he's going to do. I don't turn around, but watch with wide eyes as a toned arm reached over my head and snatched my ID away from the lady. She gasps loudly and looks up in confusion and I clamp my eyes shut as he goes off.