//you don't know me//finn Wolfhard

chapter 21 - numb

Cocaine; a highly powerful and addictive substance that provides a rapid-onset, rewarding high. It releases dopamine from the brain and gives positive or rewarding feelings. It gives me a feeling of euphoria and it boosts my self-esteem. I feel more energetic and it just elevates my whole mood in general. That's why i'm staring at it right now, little white lines of heaven.

"Hurry up already, stop staring at it like it's the first meal you've seen in years." I look to my right and I see Millie giggling, I laugh along with her and shake my head.

"Give me some time I haven't had any in a while, i'm kinda rusty." She rolls her eyes with a smile and scoots closer to me.

"Well don't take too long I wanna get my high on." I mentally cringe at the words she uses, but just hide it off with a smile.

I turn back to the white powder in front of me and run my hand over my jeans. I slowly bring my hands to my face and lean my head closer to the drug. I close my eyes, plug one side of my nose and start to breathe in. I feel the fine dust fly up my airway.

I shoot my head up and I feel a wave of happiness come over me. I feel wide awake, I can do anything, I could jump off the roof and still feel fine.

"Shit that's good." I start laughing and jumping up and down on the couch.

"Okay, okay my turn." Mille takes my spot and does the exact same thing I did.

"Whoo, yeah baby." Mille and I start laughing and dancing to the music that's been playing pretty loudly for 9 am.

Millie wraps her arms around my neck and I don't stop her but I don't put my hands anywhere on her, "Y/N doesn't deserve you, you are an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have you. You are like the sweetest boy I've ever meet, you wouldn't hurt a fly." My mind goes back to the first time I ever hurt her. I pushed her into the wall because she was walking away from me and I instantly regretted it. I said I would never hurt her again but I broke my promise. I hurt her so bad that she looked at me with fear. I will never be able to get that look out of my head.

I shake my head and put on my best fake smile, "Let's not talk about her, let's have a good time." I give her my best charming smile and she looks down, i'm guessing to hide her blush. Her head rises and she giggles.

"Okay."

Skip two hours.

My high has come down but I don't really want anymore, I have no idea how that's possible but I guess it is. I'm just in my head right now I don't know what exactly i'm thinking, or if i'm thinking at all. I can hear all of the background noise but i'm also not picking anything up. I feel numb, nothing matters, but I don't want to change this feeling, I deserve it. I hurt the best thing that ever happened in my life, I should feel like this.

"Oh my god, Finn if you don't answer you god damn, i'm gonna throw it at your fucking head." I hear all of the annoyance in Millie's voice but a soon as her words hit my ears, I completely forget everything she said, so I just continue to ignore her.

"Okay fine. Hello, who is this?" When her words hit my ears again I jolt up from my spot and my hand flies towards my phone that's in her hand.

"Don't ever fucking answer my phone without my permission, this is private stuff." I hear the person through the phone yelling words that I can't quite make out but all my attention is on Millie.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs at me, "Whatever." She goes back to her phone, completely forgetting about me. My shoulders slump back down and I face my attention back on the ceiling.

"Hello?"

"Do you know how long I've been trying to fucking reach you, Jesus! I need you to come----" I weirdly hear his voice start to fade away but I don't really care, I actually don't know who this is?