I'm A Mess (Completed)

7

Frank opened his eyes, seeing the morning sun shine through his window. He groaned, turning in his bed, wanting to stay in and not go to school. It was a Friday and he wanted to start his weekend now. 

"Rise and shine, Frankie" He heard a female voice say as he heard his door creak open. "Mmm, no.." Frank mumbled through the pillow. His mother walked up to him and smiled once she leaned down to be face-to-face with her son. "C'mon, sleepy head. You soon have to go to school" Said her sweet voice. 

"Can I not go?..." Frank groaned as he fluttered his eyes close again. "Franklin, wake up... I made pancakes" His mother teased him. He opened his eyes again and smiled. "Fine.." He giggled as his mother chuckled. "That always wakes you up, huh" She grinned, grabbing Frank's uniform from his closet. 

"Yeah. I mean, it is food." They giggled. Once his mother was out of the room, closing his bedroom door behind her, he stood up and out of bed, yawning. 

He didn't sleep at all last night. He was busy thinking about the guy he calls his English teacher. He liked talking to him the day before and really wanted to do the same today. And what he told him the other day was true. When he explained that at some point the things you were told not to do are going to bottle up inside and someday you're going to rebel and go against everything they told you for forbidden. As a big 'fuck you' he'd liked to say. 

Frank was feeling that now. Much more than he did the other day when Gerard told him about it for the first time. He felt like going further and felt like doing things which his parents would kick him out of the house for. Things that priests would faint over hearing. He didn't exactly know what it was, but he just had a feeling of rebelling against everything. 

~~~~~~~

Once he walked into school, he looked around the hallways noticing his friends at the end of it. He walked over to them, finally seeing the disgusted faces they had towards him. 

"Is this about Gerard?" He asked as they both sighed. 

"Isn't it obvious, Frank. You're making a mistake-"

"-I'm not, Ray!" He raised his voice as everyone looked at them with confused expressions. Frank looked around, clearing his throat loudly as a sign for everyone to ignore them. "Just to let you know, I went to his house yesterday. We made out," Frank smirked, "And I know he likes me" 

"You should go to hell, Frank" Bob said in an angry tone.

"You know what. Fuck you. A-And fuck you!" Frank angrily fumed, pointing his index fingers to Ray and Bob. He turned away and walked, not giving a single shit about them anymore. 

He thought he could tell his friends his secrets and they would be excepting of it. He thought Ray and Bob were there for him, but this time they were both against him. He wanted to punch both of them. He wanted Gerard to kill them for him. 

That's when he stumbled outside in the school garden where there were no living souls in it. There was a small space where no one could see anything that happened there. He banged the back his body against the wall that surrounded the space and slid down it, bringing his knees into his chest. 

"Fuck it" He said to himself as he ripped off his blazer and pulled at his tie, throwing it down next to the blazer. He ruffled up his hair, breaking up the gel that he placed on in in the morning and let his black semi-short hair fall in front of his face. He undid the buttons at the top of his collar, letting him breath for once as he buried his face in his hands.

"There are chains on my desk, you can't see them but I can, in fact I can feel them. I can feel them tight around my neck pulling me away from my soul. They slowly drag me 'forward'. My grip on freedom weakens as the links tussle my neck, the singing of birds fade and become more distant. Singing choirs cease to sing. The sun shines differently, its a dim light... with no glimmer anymore" Frank suddenly heard.

He looked up to Gerard leaning against the wall with a lit cigarette in between his fingers. 

Frank sighed, throwing his head back. "It's a poem. A poem about being restricted to do things... but then you break your own chains and do them" Gerard walked over to Frank, sitting down next to him, sitting in the same position. 

"What happened?" 

"Nothing..." Frank mumbled as he wrapped his arms around his legs, bringing them in closer. 

"Are you sure it's nothing? Cause I saw you storm out of the hallway with your hands clenched up in a fist. Just tell me what's wrong" Gerard took another hit of his cigarette. 

"I just... Ray and Bob are being dicks" 

"Why are they being dicks?" 

Frank thought about it for a bit. If he told him the truth, Gerard would get mad that he told his friends when he strictly told him not to tell anyone. But, if he lied then he would have to suffer with the guilt of it all. 

"Don't hate me but I kinda told Ray and Bob about us. I couldn't help myself" Frank played with the dead skin around his fingernails. Gerard sighed. A slight frown shaped on his lips. 

"I don't hate you for telling them. I knew you were gonna tell them anyway. Fuck, even I told my friend about it" Gerard looked down at the cylinder in his fingers. 

"Though when I told them, they kind of just... turned away from me. Bob told me to go to hell. Then I told them 'fuck you' and left" Frank said, rubbing his eyes as he remembered that moment.

Frank was kind of growing on Gerard a bit. He reminded Gerard about his fourteen year old self and how rejected he felt by the world and the people he thought were his friends. He knew how he felt. The exact feeling. He knew it wasn't very pleasant at first but when he found the right people -just like how he found Alex-, he felt good again. 

"You just hit the point I was telling you about yesterday" Gerard said as Frank scoffed. 

"And how very fun it is" Frank said as they both chuckled. 

After that there was silence. No one talked. The only sound there was, were the birds chirping and the wind blowing. That's it. 

Suddenly, Frank felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him in. He looked at Gerard and smiled, slowly resting his head on the older man's shoulder. 

"You're kinda growing on me, kid" Gerard said, throwing the burnt out cigarette on the floor. 

"Really? And why is that?" 

"I don't usually have a sweet spot for people but you just remind me of myself. When I was alone and confused. It sucks and I don't want that fourteen year-old dumbass to be you" Gerard said, looking down at the black haired boy. "Hmm... You actually have a heart. That's nice" Frank teased as Gerard moved his shoulder, nudging Frank's head as they both giggled. 

"Yeah, believe it or not, I actually do" Gerard sighed in relief. 

That's when they heard the bell ring. Frank shot his head up, quickly pecking Gerard's lips before they both stood up. "Thanks... for caring about me" Frank smiled and blushed. "Sure. Though this is the only time I'm gonna be all sympathetic with you" Gerard grabbed Frank's tie and blazer, dusting off the dirt that landed on the thick material. 

Frank giggled, buttoning up the collar of his dress shirt before tying his tie and putting on his uncomfortable blazer.

Gerard ran his fingers through Frank's hair, pushing it back to make it look presentable. The teacher cupped the younger boy's cheeks and looked him in the eye. 

"Now go to class" 

Frank nodded and smiled before lastly pecking his lips and walking off to his classroom.