"If only you knew"
______________________________________
Airiona Lynch
I sat, balled up in my covers as I listened to Damien talk on the phone from the other room. I was awoken by his loud laughs.
" I know baby, and those tricks you did last night wheeewww"
Tears clouded my vision as I sat up. "I don't know if I want her or not, I'm confused , but what I do know is your body is an addiction babygirl"
I slid my joggers over my legs, quickly throwing on a sweater. I can't listen to this. "I love you to, see you later"
Tears fell harder as I slid on my slides and grabbed my keys. I walked out the room, bumping into Damien at the door.
"Airi-" I pushed pass him, hurrying out the front door. I got in my car and drove, I didn't know where I was going but I had to get away. Never in a million years had I thought that the love of my life, the father of my child would hurt me this bad.
I felt stupid. How long had he been cheating ? There was no denying that he was, the midnight calls, coming home late with no reasons. He was cheating right under my nose and I didn't notice.
I pulled into the driveway of the home where I knew I would be welcomed. Although I knew he was pissed at me for telling him to leave a few weaks ago.
I wiped my face clean and put on a smile as if everything was normal. I got out the car and walked onto the porch.
I softly knocked on the door. As I waited on someone to answer, I thought of all the things I could say to him. Do I apologize? I wasn't wrong , Damien is, was my boyfriend.
The door opened, revealing a exhausted looking Chris. He looked — sick. My vision instantly blurred at the thought, my heart shattering.
"H-how are you Chris ?" I could hear my voice cracking. Chris sighed and stepped aside, letting me in.
"I know all your here for is Tray, you don't have to pretend to care about me"
"What? Chris I do care about you, the only reason I'm always here for Tray is because he's hu- oh" Realization had hit me like a truck. Chris was hurting more than Tray was, he was just better at hiding it.
He had lost his son and found out he had cancer. I looked into his sorrow filled eyes , seeing the despair.
I quickly wiped the tear that was threatening to fall. I embraced Chris into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
"Just promise, to be there for me as much as you are for Tray" He says, slightly catching me off guard.
I nodded my head. "Promise"
He pulled away, giving me a small smile. "Go head and make things right with your man"
I lightly laughed and ran upstairs to Tray's room. I sighed before opening his door slowly. He laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling. I could tell a lot was on his mind.
I could only imagine the pain and stress he was going through, especially since I had stopped being there for him.
He didn't spare me a glance as I walked over to his bed and laid down next to him.
"Im sorry, I should've never told you to leave and not seeing you for these past few weeks , your absence had a large effect on me Tray"
He still didn't look at me as he licked his lips. "i don't give a shit about you choosing yo bitch ass nigga over me, airi im mad at you because you knew that you was my only source of happiness, you kept me from going crazy, yet you left me, didn't contact me for 3 weeks. But I don't blame you, I blame myself for needing you , for becoming so dependent of you"
My eyes watered for what felt like the thousandth time. "Tray-" my voice croaked before I broke down into tears. I knew my cries was sounding ugly, but I didn't care— I had to let it out.
He lightly chuckled, looking at me with an unreadable face. "You found out he cheated huh?"
I don't know that for sure. It could've been his mom for all I know. "No h-he would never"
"You want me to believe that, or you tryna make yo self believe it?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked down. I didn't even care about Damien at this moment. I came over here for one thing.
I grabbed Tray's face smashing my lips onto his, electricity filling my body as we kissed.
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