"This will be the third test, Nat, do you really think it will be different from the last two," Jennifer asks softly.
"I can hope." I snap at her. And then close the bathroom door.
It's safe to say that I'm back to being a bitch.
After the initial shock of hearing that I'm pregnant, I kind of became crazy. I took out another test from the bag that James brought and headed to the bathroom. That test also gave me a positive sign. And now I'm doing it again. The reality not sitting well with me.
After three minutes of waiting and another positive sign. I let out of a string of curse words until James enters the bathroom. He pulls me to him and I struggle against it, not wanting to be touch. But then I become tired and give in to his warmth.
"It's happening all over again. I keep on screwing my life up. And now I'm about to screw up and innocent baby's life too." I say just as the tears start to flow. Everything that's happened in the last twenty-four hours becomes vivid in my memory.
************************************
My two friends finally get me into bed. My tears seemed to have dried up.
After I'm in bed Jennifer climbs in next to me. And I let her, because I know I'll need her close tonight.
James closes the door behind him and the room is encased with darkness. Only the lonely moon is taking up the sky tonight. No stars in sight.
*******
The next morning James wakes us up with breakfast on a trey.
"My mother made sure to give my sister breakfast as soon as she woke up when she was pregnant." He says in response to my confused look. He then hands Jennifer the trey who had already sat up straight.
She opens the yogurt on the trey and hands it to me along with a spoon.
"You guys know I can help myself right," I say to them.
"We know. But just let us be here for you anyway. OK." Jennifer says with a smile.
I just nod at them and start eating my yogurt.
I thought suddenly struck me. "I have to tell him," I say quietly.
********†*********†***********†******
For the next few hours, I try to make the dreaded call. But he hasn't answered any of my calls.
After the tenth call, I leave a voice message that says he needs to call me back as soon as he can.
An hour later my phone vibrates once on the coffee table. I pick it up to find a message from A.A.
Please stop calling. It's over.
I show the message to Jennifer.
"Fine. Tell him with a message. I think he deserves it." She says angrily.
I hand her the phone and watch as she types out the message. She shows it to me after sending it.
I'm pregnant, you arrogant jerk
Leave it to Jennifer to be so frank about something like this.
The phones vibrate again. Jennifer lets out an angry grunt when she reads the message.
Wow, Natalie. I really didn't think you would stoop so low. You're turning out just like all the others.
I start to type out another message, not even noticing the tears that are falling on the phone screen.
You're not even going to let yourself consider that this might be true?
I send the message and wait. What comes next has me totally floored. And I get up only to go sit down again.
I know it's not true. And if it was true, then you should abort it. My father will be paying you a generous amount. You can pay for it with that.
___________
