Something was going on with J. I didn't know what it was, but I could feel it in my bones. He was avoiding my texts, my calls. Hell, I'd even stopped by his grandmother's house and when she answered the door she claimed he wasn't home.
But I'd be damned if I let Joshua Cody's avoidance skills deter me.
He's nothing more than a friend, I thought to myself as I drummed my fingeres against my kitchen table, debating whether or not I should stop by his house again. That kiss? It meant nothing, Y/N. Get it out of your head. I sighed, tapping my foot against the floor. I felt restless, unable to sit still for longer than a few seconds at a time.
The kiss that meant nothing, the kiss that I couldn't stop thinking about had occurred during spring break. J's uncles had realized he was on vacation and threw a huge party at their house, inviting everyone from our high school. J and I didn't have many friends, but everyone showed up because of the booze, drugs, and half naked girls hanging out by the pool. It had been overwhelming, to say the least. Craig was loving it because he was too fucked up to care that someone had literally puked in his bed, and Deran was having a blast lighting things on fire and jumping from the roof to the pool.
I'd escaped for some fresh air when I felt an arm wrap around my neck and pull me backwards. My back landed against J's chest and he just felt so warm and so inviting and he smelled so good, I couldn't help but lean into his embrace.
Maybe the beer had lowered my inhibitions, and his too, because one minute I was leaning back against him and the next thing I knew I was turning in J's arms and leaning up, pressing my mouth against his.
My lower belly warmed at the memory of that kiss. His tongue sliding against mine, the way he cupped my face between his wide palms. But it was J, my J, the J that had been my best friend since we shared a pack of Doritos in kindergarten. And you know what? I didn't give a damn. I reveled in that kiss because I'd wanted it for too long, craved it for too long. I'd idly sat by after J lost his mom, watching as Nicky coddled him and tried to insert herself into his new life.
Sitting by and watching that shitshow had been absolutely miserable.
Not to mention that she started fucking his uncle.
So, sue me. I took advantage of the fact that he was single and I was single and we were both enjoying ourselves. It was just a kiss, nothing more. But it had been nearly three weeks and each day I could feel him pulling farther and farther away until he stopped texting me altogether.
Gnawing on my bottom lip, I counted to five and stared at my car keys that lay directly in front of me. Stay, go, stay, go. It was just past noon and I knew for a fact that no one would be home other than J. Deran would be at the bar, Baz would be M.I.A. as always, Pope would be doing... whatever Pope did, and Craig would be balls deep in some coked out beach bimbo.
Not taking a second to change my own mind, I grabbed my keys and bolted out the door, practically jogging to my car and speeding to J's house. If that kiss ruined our friendship then so be it, but I refused to let him shut me out. I deserved an explanation and I deserved a goodbye.
The gate was open when I got there and as I pulled into the driveway I realized the garage was open, too. J's truck was the only vehicle in the driveway and I smiled, proud of myself for seizing the moment yet again. That smile vanished, though, when I remembered what I was about to do.
Ignoring the ball of anxiety that was quickly forming in my stomach, I took a deep breath and got out, walking through the garage slowly before entering the backyard. The pool was empty and there were no signs of life. I scratched the back of my neck thinking that maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe J had gone to the bar with Deran. Maybe-
