I belong to a stranger (PUBLISHING) Belong Book 1 - Unedited

Chapter 33 - Love actually

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Chapter 33 – Love actually

 

My courage failed me there. I couldn’t move I couldn’t look up to him. I knew how much I had just revealed. Fear gripped me, my mind appalled. If death came to right now in its cruelest form, it would have been less painful.

He stood right in front of me stilled, but there was nothing more I could see or know about what was going on. I could not look at him, I just wanted to melt to the floor and disappear forever. My life dispelled in front of my own eyes every single morsel of my being disintegrating.

What did you say Rose!

 

What would he do? Would he kick me out knowing I had feelings for him? Would he rub it in my face that he won? Would he laugh at me for being so stupid? Every other moment spent in my life was boiling down to this one moment. In this one moment where I had just given the key to my life in the hands of another. He could crush my heart, and kill my soul within seconds right away.

Why hadn’t he done it already? Why was he still standing stoned in front of me? Why hadn’t he crushed me completely under his power, his strength?

I felt exposed, I felt naked, and I felt things I never wanted to feel. Nothing moved or changed around us, and yet everything was changing. Too fast and too hard. My brain was zapping in every direction in hundred-fold power, and I felt like overloaded machine.

An Overloaded machine that was about to close down soon.

My body that had been exposed to a million emotions with the past hour was going down, and it was going down fast. My knees buckled underneath my body, and blackness threatened its way to my eyes. Right now, standing next to the center table, I didn’t even have the capability to hold on to that either. I guess there was a part of me that didn’t even care. Wouldn’t it all be much easier if my head hits the floor, and by some miracle I die?

By some miracle I never had to see him again, never had to face him when he kicks me out of the house or tells me how he had won. I wanted a miracle, a miracle that involved my life ending right here, because I could not live another moment.

But my head didn’t hit the floor, god didn’t even grand me that one wish. What I hadn’t noticed was he moving at lighting speed towards me, as I swayed in my world, literally. And right when I thought I would hit the floor, he held me up by my waist, leaning down on one knee, putting the other underneath me to support my body.

My slowing down senses snapped back into attention, and my emotions whimpered in pain. Why couldn’t I be left one shred of my self-respect? Right now when all I wanted to do was pass out, or die and escape the reality in any possible way, but here he was looking into my eyes not granting me that one wish either.

Life could be cruel.

His as one of his hand was under my back, and it along with his single knee supported my weight, his other hand came to clasp around my hair. There was nowhere I could look; there was no more I could tolerate. I was really beginning to wonder how much pain could a human body take before it died.