Dear August

|One|

Dear August,

Mom and I are moving today. Away from the house we were raised in, the town all my memories were made in, the friends that I promised I would never leave. I guess it's good for the both of us to start fresh. To forget about you leaving us the way you did. We both need it. I hope you know mom really doesn't hate you. She still loves you. I don't hate you either. I could never hate you, you're my sister. We'll talk soon.

With love,
Riley

"Riley?" Moms voice echoes around the empty house and into my room. I put down the pen and fold the paper up, placing it in an old shoebox.

"Yeah mom?" I call back. I wait a few seconds as I listen to the sound of boxes sliding across the floor.

"Could you come help me really quick?" I get up from the floor of what was once my bedroom, now four empty walls with a few left over boxes laying around.

As I turn the corner into the living room mom is squatting down, arms wrapped around a large box, making funny grunting noises as she struggles to pick it up.

"Need some help?" I ask, her head popping up from behind it. Her bright blue eyes remained striking although they were lined with exhaust and stress, with dark circles underneath them. Her light hair  thrown into a lazy ponytail, flyaways going every which way.

I would kill to have my moms eyes.

"Thanks hun," she steps away from the box and I step towards it lifting it with ease. "That one goes to the moving truck."

I nod and make my way towards the door. This was one of the last boxes, meaning that soon we were leaving. And not coming back.

•••

Mom shuts the car door, making me jump a little.

"You ready pumpkin?" She asks, snapping me out of my trance.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I respond, taking one last glance at the now gutted and empty house. Echoes of childhood memories and my estranged sister still dancing around the walls inside.

We were moving from a single family house to a two bed one bath apartment. Forcing my mom and I into a more condensed space. What's even stranger for me to think about is moving somewhere that actually has winter.

"What's on your mind, Riley?" Mom asks, looking from me back onto the desert road. I shift my weight in the passengers seat a little.

"Nothing really. Just zoning out," I answer, looking out into the empty desert, cactuses lining the road. They don't have cactuses in Colorado. How weird.
"There's no cactuses in Colorado," I say abruptly. Mom looks at me.

"Yeah, it's a bit cooler there," she says. "They actually have winter, and snow. That's exciting, you've never seen snow before!"

"I was fine living with no snow. And having actual hot summers."

"They have summers. They're just not year round."

We both go silent.

"You're going to a new school, that's exciting, new friends and teachers."

I don't respond.

Of course I wasn't excited for that. Being that one new kid? Everyone gathering around the new shiny thing wanting to poke and prod at it. The only relief I'd get out of moving to Colorado would be getting away from everything haunting me here.

•••

Some agonizing hours later we arrive in the parking lot of the apartment complex. Mom and I bring the car loads in as the movers work swiftly moving furniture and boxes here and there. We work in silence, all of us tired from the drive and just ready to go to bed.

Mom plops down the last box and sighs.

"Whew, good job. We got that all that done in some decent time!" She exclaims enthusiastically. "So, pizza for dinner?"

"Sure. I'm gonna go try to get my room decent looking," I reply, heading towards my bedroom door. She says nothing, cuts open a box with an exacto-knife and dials a number for a pizza place.

Once my door is shut I sigh and sit down on the floor. My room is a mess, boxes here and there, a mattress laying on the ground amongst everything. I pull one of the smaller boxes towards me and tear the tape off, rolling it into a ball and throwing it over my shoulder.

The box is filled with my stationary and desktop things. Notebooks, old cameras, and pictures scattered around the box from the bumpy drive.

I pull the camera out and look at it for a minute. My first one, before I even knew how a 35mm worked. At least my new school has a photo program. My old school never offered things like that.

I stop sifting through the box when my eyes catch an old photo. My sister August and I beaming at the camera, in front of the famous Disneyland ferris wheel. Both wearing Mickey Mouse ears, holding cotton candy in our hands. Our arms wrapped around each other in an awkward side hug. Happiness and nostalgia radiate from the photo. It starts a heavy ache in my chest, that I have to take a deep breath and count to three to get rid of.

My door opens suddenly, and I jump slightly turning around. Mom stands in the doorway, leaning on the handle awkwardly.

"Pizzas here."

I smile and nod as I put the picture into the shoebox with my notes and tuck it into the corner in between my bed and desk.

"So, a new school tomorrow. You excited?" My mom asks, she sits on the counter next to me, legs crossed. She sets her slice of pepperoni pizza down on her plate and wipes her hands on a napkin. I shrug.

"Not really," I reply shortly.

She sighs."You know, it's a good opportunity to make new friends."

"I liked my friends back home."

I felt a little bad for being rude. But shes known I've been reluctant towards the move from the beginning.

She stays silent a second before speaking up again. "You might get some cool teachers?" I stare at the hardwood floor of the kitchen.

"Yeah, maybe," I offer up. I hop down from the counter and throw away my paper plate. "I should get to sleep if I wanna be able to wake up for school tomorrow."

Mom smiles sweetly at me and nods. I walk into my room and shut the door.
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Thank you to @peachspit for the amazing covers!