Dear August

|Six|

⚠️Possible trigger warning ⚠️ I will put a * where it starts and ends

Finley had led me back inside a while ago, me grabbing another drink along the way. We were now with the rest of the group, sitting on the couch. The party had become sparse since it was nearing three in the morning. The music was now a soft background noise, with no blaring bass.

I take a few drinks from my beer, not that I need any more since I'm well past tipsy.

The group laughs with the few people sitting in the living room as I stay quiet, still latched onto Finley's arm.

"So Riley," a girl sitting on the ground asks me. I think her name was something like Kylee? "How's your time here going so far?"

"Oh it's great!" I say, obviously slurring my words. "People are great, teachers are great. The weather fucking blows though." Everyone laughs.

"I'm glad Riley," Joey pats my shoulder, obviously as drunk as me.

"You," I furrow my brows and point at her. "You are like soooo cool."

Joey laughs a little. "Thanks Ry."

"No no no," I sit up a little so I can get a better look at her. The sober ones in the circle snicker at our drunken conversation. "Like when I first saw you I was like 'woahhhh she looks so cool and nice.' And guess what? You are."

Joey smiles again.

"And you," I point at Luca. Oh jesus, I'm going on my drunken compliment chain. But I don't stop myself.

"You're so cool too. And you're funny. Like, wow you're funny."

Luca laughs and pats my cheek. I feel bad for Finley, she has to drive four drunken idiots home.

"Finley," I point at her.

"Riley," she looks at me.

"You know, at first I was a little annoyed with you. Like does this girl ever stop talking?" I say. Ouch, sober Riley would not approve.

Finley furrows her brows. "Thanks?"

"Shhhh," I shush her. "Let me finish."

Finley raises her hands slightly. "Okay, Okay."

"But," I look at her. "But, I warmed up to you. Quicker than I thought. You're like, so nice and pretty. Like you talk a lot but it's fun to listen to what your saying. It's not like, boring stuff. You talk about cool stuff like your interests. And I like that about you, Finny girl."

Finley laughs a little. "Thanks Riley, that means a lot."

I lean back my head and take in a deep breath. I turn my head and look over at August, who was already looking at me.

"And you," I say. August raises his eyebrows. "You, you're- you're like, cool, and sweet, and funny, and like really, really- no I mean really attractive." His eyes widen.

"Oh god," Finley mumbles, putting her head in her hands.

"Let me finish," I say, lifting my head from the back of the couch. "And I would totally date you. You're like really my type."

"And you won't because..?" Kylee asks from the ground, looking intrigued.
*
"Well I totally would. If it weren't for the fact that he has the same name as my dead sister."

The room goes silent. Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at me. I continue to sway back and forth in my drunkenness.

"Your- your what?" Finley turns to face me.

"My sister," I answer confused.

"No, you said something before that, your what sister?" Luca asks.

"Oh, my dead sister."

"Your sister is...dead?" Joey asks, leaning forward on the couch to get a better look at me.

"Yep," I say popping the 'p'. No one says anything for a moment. I probably sobered some of them up by saying that.

"Is that why she stayed back in Arizona? Cause she's..." Finley trails off.

"Yeah. She committed suicide a month before my mom and I moved here."
*
(A/N for those of you who skipped the possibly triggering part: Riley accidentally tells the group that her sister passed away in a tragic way and that's why she wouldn't date August)

No one dares to say anything.

"I think we need to head back to my place," Finley stands up. "Luca or August?" She motions her hand towards me, obviously trying to tell one of them to pick me up and take me to the car.

Joey and Luca stand up, stumbling into each other and laughing together.

August sighs. "I guess that means me." He stands up and stands in front of me, reaching out a hand towards me. I take it clumsily and he pulls me up. Almost right away, I stumble into his chest. He sighs again and lifts me up.

"Woah," I giggle as he heads for the door.

I fall asleep on the ride home, leaning on August's shoulder for a pillow. Big surprise that it's August since I basically just confessed my feelings towards him, but also said we could never date.

I feel someone lay me down onto a bed and walk a few steps away.

"August?" I say groggily. The person sighs a little.

"Yeah?"

"Come here."

He walks over to the side of the bed and kneels down. I squint my eyes at his face. He was pretty close. His freckles dotted his face like constellations. We just stare at each other.

"For what it's worth you look nothing like her," I say, obviously starting to sober up. He smirks a little, showing me that amazing bright smile. "It's okay. I'll still probably have feelings for you in the morning."

August brushes some hair out of my face and looks at me. "I know." I furrow my brows as he gets up and walks towards the door.

"You know?" I say. He only chuckles a little. I lay my head back down in defeat.

Before he closes the door he mumbles, almost whispers, "Me too, Riley."

He shuts the door, and almost immediately I drift asleep.