Dear August

|Thirteen|

"Riley, don't tell mom okay?"

I roll my eyes. Why does she always think I'm such a snitch?

"I'm not gonna tell mom. Why don't you trust me?" I push her shoulder playfully. She holds up her hands in defenses.

"Hey, I'm just making sure."

August loves doing things that can definitely get us in trouble. She opens up her bedroom window and takes out the screen.

"So if you decide to jump from the roof, just like don't break your legs okay?" She informs me as she climbs out. I follow.

The cool air hits my face. This is what I love about Arizona. The warmth. It doesn't matter that it's January and it should be cold as hell here, the nights air felt like summer. The shingles on the roof are still heated up from the afternoon sun beating down on them, and they warm up my exposed thighs as I sit.

The moon shines down on our faces and I sigh, content.

"So this is where you come out in the middle of the night?" I ask, turning towards August, who was pulling blankets and snacks from the window.

She nods. "Yup. I come here so much. Not my fault that my room has the perfect set up. Like the window opening right up to the roof. It's perfect," she sighs as she pulls the last bag of chips from the window and walks up to me. She plops herself down, looking out at the night sky.

We stay silent for a little. Taking in the summer like weather. The crickets chirping and the ambiance of the night calmed me. August opens up a bag of chips ruining the calm moment.

"Way to ruin my three seconds of calm," I say. She looks over at me, chewing on a chip.

"I'm hungry."

"The fact that you can eat past midnight is still so... odd to me."

"The fact that you can't is odd to me," she mocks. I laugh a little and grab a chip from the bag. We fall silent again. It's never an awkward silence with August though. I'm always comfortable around her. As you should be around your best friend slash sister.

"Riley?"

"Hm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Always."

She wraps her blanket a little tighter around herself.

"So you know I'm a senior this year,"

"Uh-huh."

"And I think I'm gonna like, leave. After I graduate I mean. I need to get out of here... this town."

She's acting funny.

"What do you mean? You love it here?"

She sighs and thinks a moment. "Yeah but. You know, Jack and I we like broke up and all. And I'm falling out with a lot of my friends. I think I just need a fresh life. I need to like travel, go to college somewhere else. You know?"

"But you've already been accepted to-"

"Yeah I know. That doesn't mean I want to go. This town it's just... poison. You know? Dad left us when we were little for his mistress, he still lives in this town with her and his other kids. Jack broke up with me for one of my best friends, moms never home. That one teacher at our school is being convicted of sexual assault. You know, small towns they... they look perfect but there's always something sick and twisted going on behind the curtain."

"Way to just shit on our town," I snort.

"You're not denying any of it though."

"Because none of it is wrong."

"Why don't you want to leave?"

That was a tough question. All my friends are here for one. I like some of my teachers. The weather is perfect. Although I am bias since I've lived here my whole life.

"There's a lot of things here that are important to me."

She sighs.

"Me too."

I don't press her. The silence takes over again and the ambiance of the night seems to turn up a notch.

"I need to tell you something," she turns towards me. I follow and turn my body towards her.

"Yeah?"

"I mostly want to leave to..." She trails off. I raise my eyebrows. "To give it a second chance."

"To give what a second chance?"

She opens her mouth to say something, but slowly closes it. Her eyes drift to look at her hands.

"I want to see other beautiful things in life. Before I make a decision."

What the hell is she talking about.

"You're going mad," I tease, putting my hand on her shoulder. She smiles at me and looks back out in front of us.

"Forget I said any of that." She bites her bottom lip and gathers her things to climb back into the window.

"Hey wait for me!"

Her head pops back out of the window and she shushes me.

"Moms still here," an annoyed tone lining her voice. I crawl my way back to the window and throw my things in before my body follows.

Just as my feet hit the floor, a burning sensation fills my lungs, and I can feel myself being pulled out of the water by my arms.