Lucy Bartholy is it love?

Memories (part 1)

(Warning: Some people may not like some of the scenes described in these chapters) 

Lucy's point of view

Memories from the past can be both good and bad, but mine... Mine are definitely more bad than good.

The good memories are those of my 4 best friends, laughing and joking together every day. 

My grandparents who loved me, and who were more like my actual parent than my own.

The memories of meeting Jenny and spending hours teaching her to surf, us shopping, drinking, eating in fancy restaurants and laughing until my stomach hurts.

Meeting vodkat and her introducing me into her band, being able to sing live, that feeling of nerves hitting before i walk onto stage.

I hated that feeeling at 1st, but i grew to like it, and playing the guitar thanks to colin.

We spent hours together, especially when we were 16 on a Friday night, drinking, singing and playing guitar on the beach as we were all sat around a fire, watching the sea come in and out of the sand. 

The adrenaline rush of driving fast cars, thanks to Darryl teaching me, I felt free for the 1st time in my life, learning to drift round corners and switching lanes fast, oh that feeling, I still get it every time I step in a car.

The memories of being with Owen and Jake in Afghanistan, them making me laugh so much that I thought I would pee my pants, playing soccer and beating them at strip poker, with Casey and Lance.

The time I spent with darryl, drinking, partying, racing cars, nights just sitting watching old movies, while eating pizza and popcorn. The way he would make me feel safe, he would wrap me in his arms so tight, and we would kiss and make love, all day long at times.

Then... i take a deep breath, then comes the memories that come to me now, the ones that repeat every time I try to sleep alone.

The memories of the news of the death of my grandparents, being hurt and abused by my own parents. 

The car accident, that I was the soul survive of, waking up in hospital, bruised with concussion and hearing the news of the death of my parents and being alone, really all alone for the 1st time in my life .

I have the memories of losing Owen, he died in my arms, the memories of nearly losing jake to boot.

As the nightmare continues I have the rerun of being kidnapped, beaten, my ribs broken, being.... being the night that... The night that... fuck, I need to box up these memories and put them away, to forget, so I can sleep. 

Now... Now I have to deal with the memories from yesterday evening, of the outer body experience of killing lana and her brother, it was like I was there but I wasn't, this is so messed up, but if I didn't she would if gone fer Matt, she had hurt him enough already.

I need my tablets, i should of took them, they help my brain switch it's self off, even if it's just for a little while.

I wake up sweating and screaming, as darryl rushes into my room, looking worried once again.

My angel, it's fine your safe I promise. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, he pulls me to his bare chest, I take a deep breath breathing in his smell, as he sits on the edge of my bed next to me, he's wearing nothing but his pj bottoms.

I look up at him, as he looks at me, he moves the cover to get in next to me, he seems to realise in that moment, I'm only wearing a thin lace camisole and lace thong that matches.