lost and found // calum hood

94 | Elizabeth

It had almost been three weeks since I left for Los Angeles and to say that I missed Calum was an understatement.

Skype, Facetime and calling him just wasn't the same thing as him being here and I just wanted him here.

Thanks to Cal and Mike I was seeing Mike's psychologist now once a week to talk about that shitty thing called 'my life'. His psychologist was actually a really kind man and I felt like I was actually making steps forward again.

I was spending my free time at an animal shelter close to Calum's house as a volunteer. Calum was proud of me for actually getting out of bed and doing something with my life and I had to admit that I was a bit proud of myself too.

Calum did his best to keep me updated with everything and make sure that someone tried to at least live stream one of the songs every show backstage, even when I told him that I could just watch it on youtube if I wanted, he insisted it. He'd call me when he got back in the hotel after every show and made sure I was okay.

I just missed waking up to see his beautiful face and his pretty eyes staring at me. I used to think brown was an ugly color. Often I associated it with things like mud and rotting wood. At some point, I declared that brown was my least favorite color.

But then I met Calum in real life, the boy with brown eyes, and when I looked into them, brown was no longer ugly. I began to associate it with beautiful things like cups of coffee, sweet chocolate, and forests. I saw my life in shades of brown with him.

So every morning I woke up and rolled to my side and I was greeted by nothing but a cold pillow, I couldn't help but feel lonely.

I haven't made any friends. I didn't even know who Calum's neighbors were. I do not talk to everyone. I'm not introvert or anti-social, it's just that I don't trust easily and I choose people carefully who will know my story. So, the only person I did talk to was Iris, another volunteer at the animal shelter.

Iris was 36 and had been a volunteer there for over a year. She was a sweet woman who just got through a nasty divorce and she had a weakness for dogs, an interest we both had.

When I told Calum that I was working here, he made me promise that I wouldn't end up buying a dog, but I couldn't make any promises to him yet, because they had the cutest dogs.

As for now, I was sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around me and Duke peacefully sleeping in front of the tv. I was catching up with Grey's Anatomy. I used to watch this show all the time but I quit around season seven. Now that I basically had nothing to do, I thought it was a great time to catch up.

I had ordered pizza, being too lazy to cook today, and I was playing candy crush on my phone. At some point, I got a notification from Calum and I quickly opened it. He had been really quiet today and I thought he just was really busy with the tour.

It was a video.

I frowned and clicked on it. I had to wait a bit for it to download and open, but once it opened it I saw Calum sitting down with an acoustic guitar resting on his leg. "Hey babe," he said, smiling at the camera. I grabbed the remote and paused my show before watching the rest of the video.

"Remember when we just started talking and I didn't really know what to say to you and I just asked you what your favorite song of us was?" he said and scratched the back of his head. "You said it was beside you and you ranted about how we let the song die," he said before letting out a chuckle and I couldn't help but giggle. Of course, I remembered that.

"So, that's why I'm giving you an exclusive performance of that song because I think the lyrics are really relevant to us right now. Uh... I hope you like it? It's weird to perform this without the boys and with the guitar so please forgive me if I mess it up. Love you." he said before he took a deep breath and softly playing the intro of the song.

He didn't even start singing yet and tears had already formed in my eyes. This was such a fucking sweet gesture.

"Within a minute I was all packed up, I've got a ticket to another world, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go." Calum's voice was soft and listening to it was something that could calm all my storms. "Sudden words are hard to speak, when your thoughts are all I see, don't ever leave, she said to me," he said, looking at the camera instead of his hands.

Flashbacks from when we said our goodbyes at the airport, how scared I was of losing him. I stared at Calum for a bit while he was singing. It was almost angelic.

"When we both fall asleep, underneath the same sky, to the beat of our hearts at the same time. So close but so far away, can you hear me?" he said before going for the chorus.

That was when I was sobbing. He was right when he said that the lyrics fit us so well and this was his way of showing how much he loved me."She sleeps alone, my heart wants to come home, I wish I was, I wish I was, beside you." Everyone knew that Calum wasn't that great at articulating, not in the way Ashton or Luke was, he liked to show the way he feels in his songs instead. "She lies awake, I'm trying to find the words to say, I wish I was, I wish I was, beside you."

I kept listening to rest of the song before Calum finally played the last few chords and smiling at the camera, standing up, grabbing the phone and blowing a kiss in the camera before ending the video.

Tears were still streaming down my face. They weren't sad tears, they were happy tears. I opened my camera and send an ugly cry selfie to Calum, which he opened within a second.

After ten seconds, Calum was face timing me and I quickly answered. "You ruined my makeup," I said to him as his face appeared on my screen. He gave a soft smile. "Don't cry, love," he said. "Thank you for that video. I love it. I love you so fucking much." I said while wiping away the tears. "I love you too. What are you doing?" he said, changing subjects to lighten the mood. I turned the camera around and showed him the television and Duke.

Calum chuckled. "Love how Duke didn't wake up when you started bawling," he said and I giggled. "We're actually becoming best friends. I don't even need an alarm anymore, Duke wakes me up every morning. Watch me steal your dog." I said, sticking out my tongue.

"Sorry I haven't said much today, we had three interviews in Amsterdam and the soundcheck before the VIP soundcheck was a big mess," he said and I nodded. "Yeah - I get it. It's fine. The video you send means everything to me. I can go one day without talking to you, I won't crash and burn right away." I said, reassuring him that it was fine and we were still fine.

"Okay. Wanna facetime for a while?" he said and I nodded.

"Of course."

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its hARd to write these long distance chapters o my goD like idk what elizabeth does all day??? i just assume she does the same as me when im at home: absolutely noTHIng

also a lot of new readers have joined in the past few days and i just want to say thank you for reading and commenting on this story. I smile everytime any of y'all comment and I'm sorry you have to read this story lmAOooO i still cant believe people actually LIKE this???

also IF this story ever ends (which isnt anytime soon so calm down) i want to write another cal/liz story unrelated to this one sO yea thanks for that