Change My Mind, Change My Heart (Jalex)

I'm Stuck On Loving You - Chapter 13

Alex's P.O.V.

My mother came home at four, kicking the door to get me to open it. I thought this was strange until I opened said door, revealing her arms full of grocery bags.

"Shit, mom, are we feeding an army or what?" I asked, astounded by the amount of food she had bought.

"Alex, language. And no, but we're having people over dinner, and I want to make a good impression." she replied.

Confused by the use of the word 'people', I said, "People? As in plural? I thought it was just Anne Bernard coming?"

A worried look passed quickly through my mom's eyes, before she answered, "And her husband. Greg."

Still confused, now by her odd reaction, I decided to brush it off and say, "...Alright then. Let me know if you need help." before heading up to my room.

~

Two hours later, a doorbell ringing shook me from the trance I had been in, scribbling lyrics in an old notebook. I quickly shut it and threw my pen to the side, walking down the stairs in a hurry to greet our guests.

When I saw who, exactly, the guest was, I froze in my tracks, halfway down the stairs.

My mother was leading Jack into the kitchen, neither of them having noticed I was there. Yes, Jack. My brain was quickly overwhelmed with an onslaught of thoughts.

What's Jack doing here? Why would my mom... Oh. She realized the same thing I did; we need him to vouch for my story. And he's actually doing it? After all the crap he went through last night? Jack is officially the best person I've ever met.

The best, and the... most attractive. He looked really fucking hot in those jeans, maybe they're new? Those with that tight shirt, and his hair perfectly styled, I just want to....

No. I can't be thinking about that. We're not even together. Which is all my fault, but I can’t stand the thought of him getting hurt because of me. Physically or otherwise. Besides, even if we were together, I'd be too terrified of getting intimate with anyone to get any further than kissing for probably half a year.

Fuck Andrew Smith for ruining what should be one of the best things in life. As attracted as I am to Jack, I'll never be able to be with him. He'd realize how pathetic and broken I am and leave me when I freaked out whenever he tried to touch me. But Jack wouldn’t, would he? He’s too sweet and perfect to care about something like that. That’s what makes me love him – Love him? I, I love him. I’m in love with Jack Barakat.

But, he must hate me for what I did to him anyways. He can’t feel the same. But then, why is he-

I was snapped out of my internal dialogue when my mother called from the kitchen, "ALEX!"

She was probably trying to yell loud enough that I could hear her from my room, where she most likely assumed I still was.

Sighing, I went to participate in what was bound to be the most painfully awkward dinner of my life.

~

Jack's P.O.V.

Alex appeared in the kitchen doorway – with a pained expression upon his face – just as the doorbell rang. Looking relieved, he practically sprinted to answer it, letting in Anne and Greg Bernard. Alex’s mom had already told me about their part in this, and that they would also be here.

I was slightly hurt by how horrified Alex was to see me, yet, I understood. This would certainly be a miserable meal for everyone; the tension was suffocating me already, and we hadn’t even spoken a word to one another.

Alex reappeared with the final two dinner guests in tow, and after exchanging polite, impersonal Hello’s, we all took our seats at the table and started silently eating the spaghetti Isobel had prepared.

Although it was delicious, I barely tasted the pasta passing over my tongue as I watched the boy sitting as far away from me as possible.

Soon, Isobel, Anne, and Greg began discussing the plan for the meeting with the principal, which had already been scheduled for four thirty tomorrow afternoon. I responded when spoken directly too, and mentally took note of all the details and plans for disposing of Mr. Smith.

Alex, on the other hand, had finished his meal and was staring silently at his plate, as he had been for the last half hour. He only spoke up when asked to go into more detail about what had happened with Mr. Smith by Greg. The brunette looked like all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry as he retold the story.

And all I wanted to do was hold him. But both of those things were impossible.

That was when I came to a decision. Mr. Smith would finally be out of Alex’s life, which would lift a huge weight off his shoulders. This, I knew. But at the same time, our break up had obviously caused both of us to become depressed. The only thing to bring back that life in his eyes was, well, me.

I didn’t understand why that would be. How could I, boring, ugly, plain Jack Barakat have become such an important part of alluring, gorgeous, complex Alex Gaskarth's life?

Whatever the reason, it seemed to have happened, and if Alex needs me to bring back his happiness, then, god damn it, I’ll do it.

Fuck my dad, or anything keeping us apart, for that matter. I have to find a way for us to be together. Alex was selfless for letting me go to keep my from harm, and I’ll gladly put myself in harm’s way if it means returning the favor.

All I have to do is help him get Mr. Smith locked up, find a way to keep my family from knowing about us, and convince Alex to take me back.

I have a feeling it will be easier said than done, especially the last part.

I have to do something perfect. Something extravagant. Something romantic. Something… convincing. Enough to convince him that staying away from me would cause me more harm than being with me ever could. But I know it will be difficult. Almost impossible. But I’ll find a way, right?

Right, of course I will. I’ll do anything for the boy I love.

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A/N: Yaaaaaaaay they finally realized that they’re in love and they need each other. Comment and vote (there were a lot less votes last chapter; it made me cry) because Jalex love is adorable and you’re pissing yourself for whatever the hell Jack’s planning. And because you're one of those people (~~~>).

xoxo

Rose