Change My Mind, Change My Heart (Jalex)

Your Constant Pressing Needs - Chapter 29

Alex’s P.O.V. 

"Lex, come on, Matt and Alex G. will be here in an hour, you need to take a shower and get dressed. No offense, but you're starting to stink, babe." Jack declared, attempting to coax me out of the heavenly haven of my bed and into the bathroom.

Refusal to leave my warm cocoon of sheets and blankets wasn't the only reason I didn't want to deal with the day ahead. No.

How exactly would I go about showering? I wouldn't be able to tell shampoo from conditioner, the carbon copy bottles useless to distinguish by touch.

I couldn't shave without slicing my skin, mutilating matching slashes to those on my back. The wrappings of which would get soaked, hair product assaulting the stinging stitches of my forehead.

Styling my hair would be impossible, burning abstract lines with the previously precious strengtheners.

I wouldn't be able to choose an outfit, dressing myself a pathetically lost cause. I didn't even want to think about how that would turn out - with me looking like a colorblind retard.

I found myself fighting to suppress another breakdown - surely Jack was more than sick of me being uselessly helpless by now. So I sucked it up, trying to calm the quiver in my voice fighting to leak through and responding, "But... how?"

With that, my boyfriend fell silent. He evidently hadn't looked as far into the depths if the task at hand as I had. Another con of losing my sight, being stuck in my mind, over thinking everything.

"I'll... I'll help you. I can help you shower and find something to wear. I mean, you’re not shy, right? And we can find a way to keep the water off your back...." he trailed off, unsure of his words. Of my reaction to them.

I sighed, resigning to the fact that the younger boy was right. It wasn't like I could spend the rest of my life in old, ratty pajamas that were starting to smell like rotten cheese. Eventually, I'd have to suck up my.... disability, and try to make the best of life with what I had left. Might as well start now.

Jack was also right about my not being shy. It was true, self consciousness was never the issue when it came to intimacy in my mind. No, that was always fear. Fear, which had somehow been dispelled in my boyfriend’s presence after the incident. I was aware of the logic that fact lacked, but it was a fact nonetheless.

And Jack, who was the opposite, would no longer have an issue either. Seeing as I didn't have the ability to gaze upon his body, picking out the flaws only he could see in his diluted eyes.

"...Yeah. I guess that'll work." I finally said, trying to sound enthusiastic, the least bit happy about his problem solving. Truly, I was anything but, dreading branching out from the safe confinements of my room.

I knew that Jack could see straight through my act, knew me too well to fall for the false portrayal of emotions. Luckily, he didn’t see it necessary to call me out on it. Instead, I just accepted the hand threaded into mine, being gently pulled up and let out of the room, one arm protectively wrapped around my waist.

~

Jack’s P.O.V.

I guided Alex down the hall, silence echoing against the pale walls until I eventually pushed open the worn door, hinges protesting weakly. I released my hold on Alex, spinning around to locate the bath matt.

Finding it perched atop the translucent glass shower door, I pulled on the fuzzy light indigo fabric, displacing it to the white tile. I slid open the glass, scuffling against the frame sounding as I turned on the water, adjusting the temperature to moderately hot.