Journal,
Hey. I went back to school today. It's Monday. Duncan wasn't on the bus. He was at the hospital this morning. His liver is failing because he is smoking weed. Well at least did. I don't know if he still does, he is stupid if he is. He got an MRI. He won't know what is happening until two days from now.
I tried to talk about it to Anna at lunch. She kept telling me to shut up. I tried to laugh it off and make it seem like I didn't know why she didn't want me to talk about it. She said that it made her sad. I don't think that she understands that he is my twin pretty much. My fucking brother. She makes it seem like she is the only one that doesn't want Duncan to die. Yeah, sure, whatever Anna, we know that you're in love with him, but that doesn't mean that when he is dying you are the only one who is sad about it.
But then again, I seem like I don't care. Because I am the funny one. The strong one. The smart one. The tough one. I can't be sad because if I am sad then all attention goes to me and then all of a sudden I'm not the mask that I have made for myself. No, instead I am the real me, the broken me. The me that I don't want to exist because if I do then I know that I won't be funny, or tough, or strong, or anything. I will be the sad one. I will be the one who gets pitied because her mom was an alcoholic druggie who isn't even allowed to see her two youngest children without supervision.
I don't want to be that me. I want to be the me that is there for Duncan. I want to be the me that is there for the broken people. I want to be the me that cracks a joke when things get too serious. I want to be the me that is the me that will succeed.
I want to grow up already.
~Grace
YOU ARE READING
40 Days of Grace
Teen FictionThirteen-year-old Grace Rochester has lived a pretty hard life despite being only thirteen. Of course, it might be better than someone else's, but then again no one really knows what goes on inside her head. Finally, she decides that she wants to wr...
