40 Days of Grace

♠12-02-18♠

Journal,

I woke up early today despite the fact that we went to bed at like two yesterday. Or this morning? I find myself doing that a lot. Staying up late but waking up at like 7.

I have Nutella toast for breakfast and Anna had eggs. I watched her play a weird game with her little brother, ironically named Sanderson as well, and her mom. I wish I liked my family enough to do that. After that, we went upstairs and read for about an hour. That was fun, I start to read "We All Looked Up" by Tommy Wallach. It is really good.

Then we went downstairs and watched a little bit of T.V. and then went back upstairs again. We then decided to play the Ouija board. That seems really freaky, but we do it a lot. Despite the fact that the first time I used it I talked to my Uncle and dog and started crying and my parents, more or less Kelsi, banned me from ever playing again. But I have ghost friends! I really shouldn't be calling them that but I think that they are okay with it.

The first one we met was a little while ago and his name is/was Zachary. I don't know if I should share anything about his past because I mean, it isn't my story to tell and I don't want to offend him. He is originally Japenese though which I thought was really cool. He is 12 and I call him my Ghost Buddy.

The second one is Patrick Quellen. He wants us to refer to him as P.Q. though which is really cool too. Anna and I met him today so I can't really tell you much about him because I didn't find out much in the first place. I do know that he is 14 though and that he likes cats. Actually, we met him because he wanted to see if he could move something but we got really off topic and one of Anna's cats looked like she was being petted. P.Q. was doing it and I thought it was sick as frick. I call him my Spirit Sibling, he thinks it's wicked too.

I learned something very cool today about the spirit world/afterlife/whatever the hell you want to call it. I learned that every spirit/ghost has their own power I guess you could say. Like Zachary can go inside of your mind and say things to you without you knowing. Like, it pops into your head like it would a regular thought and you have no idea that it was actually him. I don't know if he has done it to me, I should ask him the next time we talk.

P.Q. can tell you what element your spiritually connected to. Like Anna and Sanderson, my Sanderson, are connected to the ocean or water in general. I am connected to fire and Duncan is connected to air. I guess you could say I'm "lit". Hah I'm so funny. Anna and I were also the first PEOPLE that P.Q. talked to. He talked to animals several times before us but we were the first real live people.

I thought that was pretty cool. P.Q. also told me this specifically: Don't be afraid of a little fear. That line still has me a bit confused and I want to keep thinking about it but I don't know what to expect. Maybe I should google it...

Oh yeah, and Zachary also knows that Anna loves Duncan and that Duncan loves her. As MORE than a friend. As well as P.Q.. Maybe all spirits are able to see people's emotions and feelings and stuff. I don't know. Yet another question to ask.

I also met another spirit named Emily today. That kind of sounds like a creepy name but it isn't and neither was she. Apparently, she was my dad's, ex-wife's friend and she wanted to tell me that she loved me. Which was kind of odd because she also said she never met me. I am slightly confused as to how she knew about me in the first place as well because her friend is not my mom... Maybe her friend, my dad's ex, had told her that my dad and his new wife, my mom, were having a kid and just told her about me and she just favored me over Sanderson. Who knows, if I ever get in contact with her again I hope I can ask her how she knows me.

I have discovered something about myself. I really like to meet new people through the Ouija board but I also like to learn how it works. I want to know as much as possible about the afterlife and I don't know why. I think I am going crazy.

But that is okay because at least Anna, Zach, and P.Q. will be there with me when I am.

~Grace