40 Days of Grace

♠12-07-18

Journal,

I slept over Anna's tonight and I ranted to her about Sterlyng. She said that maybe I just liked him for his looks. I don't know if that's true but I might be considering it.

I mean, I love his smile. It is so fucking adorable and it makes me want to melt out my heart. His teeth aren't perfectly white and his skin isn't perfectly clear. His hair is really dark and so are his eyes and I freeze every time I fucking look over at him and he is looking out the window and I think he is looking at me for a split two seconds before I realize he's not. I love how that, in class, when he is answering a question and half-way through he already knows it's wrong but he keeps on saying what he thinks it is anyway. But as he is doing this he is like shaking his legs back and forth and he taps his finger on the desk and when he is done talking he would keep his mouth open a little bit.

And when he laughs.... his laughs. Oh my god when he laughs, he doesn't really laugh. He will giggle stupidly and when he does that he leans his head back a little bit more than it regularly is and his Adam's apple is wicked prominent. But when he laughs, he tries to add onto the joke in some weird way and then no one else gets it but I laugh because I feel bad and know how he feels. And if you say his name and he isn't looking at you, then he will throw his head up in every direction other than the one that you're in with his eyes closed. Then he gives you a serious face and opens his eyes slowly and you can't tell if his pupils are dilating or not because his iris matches his pupil.

I don't know, do I just like him for his looks? Does all of that count?

~Grace