living on the edge

Chapter 11: Breaking Down

I looked at Cameron with worry in my eyes, but he gave me the same look. "OH YEAH AND ARE LEXEE AND CAM A THING!?" a guy yelled out. And that's when all hell broke lose.

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The crowd was ranting on and on about every situation that has happened at this stop. Security tried to calm them down along with the true fans that were patiently waiting for us to continue. Bart peeked his head out from backstage and signaled us to leave, so we did. I was absolutely fed up with everything. We made it to the limo and back to the hotel in silence, no one knew what to say. Mahogany and I split off from the guys and went to our room, it was currently 5:00pm. "What are you doing?" she asked watching me grab my suitcase. "I'm going home. The event is over anyway." "What! No it's not. We still have San Francisco!" she said walking over to me. "Mahogany! I caused all of this, so mine as we leave." "Leave Magcon?" I nodded. She stomped out of the room and down the hall.

I was throwing things in my bag and suitcase when Cameron and Nash came in. "Woah, Lexee what are you doing?" Cam asked grabbing my wrist from tossing another shirt in. "I'm leaving. I caused this whole thing and I ruined two of your event days. I'm done." I looked straight into his honey eyes and resumed tossing the shirt in. "At least stay until the end of this tour. You might change your mind." Nash said. I looked down at my suitcase laying on the bed. "And what? Keep causing problems and getting double the hate than I would get without this?" My voice cracked, I was on the verge of crying. "Bro she's right. She gets enough hate from her career, and now this." Nash said placing a hand on Cameron's back.

"Just give me some time to think alone." I sniffled. They nodded silently and left my room. Everything replayed in my head, the Jack and Jack insident, the picture with Cameron, getting them on magazines because of the paparazzi, ruining most of their tour. Tears were rushing down my face as I slammed the bathroom door closed. I leaned over the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. The rude tweets found themselves back into my head. I saw what they told me...I finally understood that I was worthless and a mistake to the Magcon family. The hate that has been going on since I was fifteen when I first started modeling for an agency, and began my acting career, along with social media.

I reached into the drawer and pulled out my razor. I've never cut before but I've heard this was the only way to kill the pain. I didn't want to do this, but before I knew it the razor was gliding against my wrist. I watched as the blood rose underneath my skin. I let out a scream in pain and frustration. I couldn't do this. My life would go on, but I hated what had happened.

Cameron's POV: Nash and I walked out of Lexee's room leaving her alone to think like she wanted. We went back into our room with the rest of the guys. "What's going on?" Taylor asked us. "She's thinking of leaving Magcon. I'm pretty sure she was just pushed over the edge this time, but give her time and she'll be back to herself." I told them. We all sat in silence on the beds in our room. It's been about three minutes but it felt like hours. I was waiting for her to walk into our room and hug us and say she thought about it and she's staying, but instead we heard a frustrated scream come from next door.

We shot up from the beds and ran down the hall into her room. "Lexee!" I yelled. There was crying coming from the bathroom, so I ran first with the guys following closely behind me. I opened the door to see her sitting on the counter (sinks) with her knees up, she was crying and had her right hand holding her bloody left wrist. "I'm sorry." she managed to say in between tears. I ran over to her and hugged her tightly. I too was crying myself. "Here." Taylor said calmly turning the sink on. She held out her shaking wrist under the water, it killed us all inside to see this happen. We bandaged her up and Shawn came and picked her up bridal style. We took her back to our room and he placed her on the bed lightly.