living on the edge

chapter 27: truth and lies

nash and i walked out of the school with the papers i needed, "lex, can we go somewhere, you know, private?"

i looked at him, the sun in his eyes as he squinted at me.

"sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"a lot of things." nash sighed getting into the passengers seat.

i decided to drive him to one of my favorite secluded places, the woods in which a cabin my parents owned for summer trips was here.

i pulled up to the opening of the woods, "theres a cabin back there we own. come on."

nash followed me through the trees until the large cabin was in sight, "i come out here when i need to think about things, no one knows about it. not even heidi." i smiled, memories of coming here as a child replaying through my head as i opened the door.

nash looked around the inside, almost shocked on the interior, "this is amazing.", he admired all the wood.

i sat down on the couch with my knees up to my chest getting comfortable. "so, what'd you want to tell me?"

he sat down next to me, leaning back and taking in a deep breath.

"a few things that have been on my chest lately and i just need to put them out there." he stared ahead out the full length window leading out to the side porch on the other side of the living room.

"camcarterhayesandiarethinkingofleavingmagcon." he mumbled his words together.

"nash, english please."

"cam, carter, hayes and i are thinking of leaving magcon." he breathed out his words, looking at me for a reaction.

"why?" my eyebrows furrowed together.

"bart. he's been taking our money. scamming us basically."

i never even noticed anything wrong with bart besides him just being somewhat annoying and a control freak about the show. he also didn't really seem like he liked me, but maybe i was just jumping to conclusions.

"and um, lexee please dont freak." nash rubbed his palms togehter, "god you're gonna hate me. you're gonna hate all of us." he covered his eyes, leaning back again on the soft pillows.

"what is it?" my voice shook, nervous of what he'd say.

"bart told us to ask you to join magcon so he'd get more money from your presence in the group. you're famous and he thought having you with us would get more fans. he's using you. he's using all of us. but-"

"you mean everything was all planned?! cameron running into me that morning just so he could ask me to join, the friendships between all of us, you guys getting into magazines because of me? it's all fake?" i stood up in disbelief.

how could they all do this to me.

"no, we met you and instantly fell in love with your personality. you and cameron together, its real. he's not using you for fame. im not using you for it either. no one is. lex you have to believe me." nash said, standing up aswell.

i felt my stomach drop thinking of cameron using me just to be known more than he is. my breath hitched in the back of my throat as tears formed at my eyes.

"lex." nash said quietly seeing the tears slowly roll down my cheeks.

"no. get out. you're using me. you're fake, nash!" i yelled, running up the stairs in the cabin to my room here.

"lexee please, you have to understand thats not how it is!" he yelled back, chasing me up the flight of stairs.

"leave me alone." i mumbled, opening the door to my room.

"lex wait." he said trying to push it open as i pushed towards him so he couldn't get in.

"go away nash!" i screamed, successfully closing and locking the door. i slid my back down the wood, crying harder than before.

i felt nash do the same on the other side of the door as my phone went off with a twitter notification.

@camerondallas : been with @madisonellebeer all day! come hang out w/ us at venice beach!

wonderful, that tweet is exactly what i need at the moment.

@lexeebrooks : who would have ever known how much the truth hurt.

nash's phone went off from the tweet i just posted earning a sigh from him through the door.

"lex, im sorry. i had to tell you, but i'll be downstairs." nash said, and i heard the floor creek as he got up from my room and walked down the steps.

i wiped my tears and stood up, walking over to the bed. i knew nash said everything happened between the guys and i was real, but i could't believe him. i cant trust him anymore. i took in a deep breath knowing what i had to do.

brace yourself for the hate, lexee. i thought to myself before going on to twitter again.

@lexeebrooks : i need to tell you all something. cameron and i have been dating for about two weeks now. no im not hacked, this is the truth and it needs to be said. +

@lexeebrooks : but im taking a break from things. twitter, magcon, modeling, everything. i just need time. i dont know if i can do this anymore. i dont know if i can trust anyone anymore.

@lexeebrooks : go ahead, freak out on me. and cameron, if you see this, im sorry for spilling the secret early without talking about it w/ you. but its nothing compared to what you did to me.

i let out a sob, my emotions built up so high in the last few minutes i felt like i could explode. i watched the comments blow up and no surprise the things everyone said stung like hell.

@shawtypuma_ : lexee is seventeen and cameron is twenty. what a slut..

@nashsbooty : how could she do this to cam?! just blab it out without his consent!

@exposing_lsb : we saw your cuts in that photo lexee. do it again and dont be afraid to cut a little deeper this time.

this new account made my heart skip a beat, exposing_lsb. those were my initials.

i clicked on the twitter page to see a full account filled with photos and screenshots of my deleted tweets. things to "expose" me with. of course i've had hate pages before, but this page went to the extreme on things.

@nashgrier : please dont hate on @lexeebrooks . i know she just released some news to all of you that was probably a big shock, but she doesn't deserve it.

it felt as if the world around me was crashing down, i was lied to, used, hurt, and i didn't know how to handle it all.

(i used the famous tumblr gif that everyone has at least seen 9mill x in their life)