Just Another Girl To You

Twenty Four Point Five

•Jaztine•

I woke early, excited for school, proud of myself for lasting a day with her.

Me: Good morning Girlfriend!!! :)

Best: Good morning :)

Best: It's been a whole day already!!! :D

Me: I know, it's been one day, so, break up already? It's been a day anyway :) jk :*

Best: Not funny -.-

Uh-oh...

Me: I'm sorryyyy :(

Best: Ugh, okay...

Crisis averted!

Me: Be happy alreadyyy :))

Best: Okay, but still, that wasn't nice.

I know it wasn't.

Me: I know, I'm soooo sorry.

We texted each other more, teasing each other, and she got petulant.

She got to school, and I still had a long way to go.

On the way, I started thinking that something was wrong.

I'm still unsure about what I feel for her. Not sure if she's my best friend or my girlfriend.

And it was making me really sad since, in my mind, the best friend "side" was winning.

We finally arrived, hid my phone, and thought that why did everything have to such so much?

I went up, sat in my usual seat, kept my head down, and tried to sleep.

I couldn't sleep, so instead I kept thinking about us. Thinking that I sucked so much, that I never did anything right.

The hours passed, and I didn't go out of the classroom, still sad.

I already know what I had to do. I knew that she'd get hurt again. I hated myself, but I have no choice.

I promised her before that I'd hurt anyone that made her sad. So I already knew what I'd be doing when I get home...

***

I was watching her basketball training, and after a few minutes, Lei sat beside me. Fuck. I didn't need anymore distractions while I was thinking about what to do with the Elaine problem, but here Lei is, another distraction.

We talked and talked, and honestly, I forgot about Elaine.

I really hated how I still liked Lei so much, and all I could think about now was how Elaine would always be just a best friend to me.

Another point for the best friend side...

Their training finally ended and I texted her.

Me: I'm sorry best. I just really can't do it. I never want to have a girlfriend again, unless it's Lei, Maan, or Myca. I'm so sorry. But it's over. I'm sorry best, but I just don't want anyone else but them.

I used the girl I liked as an excuse, because I knew shit would happen if we stayed together, and that was the only way she'd agree to ending it.

I loved Elaine so much, but I didn't want to hurt her, and making her my best friend made me realize that making her my girlfriend would just hurt her more in the long run.

She didn't reply, so I texted her again.

Me: I'm sorry best, there are just two types of girls; one you make girlfriends out of, the other, best friends. And that's what you are to me, my best friend.

Fuck. Why did I say that?! I'm so stupid. I know what I said would just hurt her so much...

I just realized then and there how much I really need her, how much I really cared.

She finally replied then, she was blaming herself, even though I kept saying it's my fault, she won't believe me.

I got home, didn't eat, and when I remembered what I texted her awhile ago, I punched myself.

Kept talking to myself, telling me I'm stupid and all that shit.

I kept hitting myself till I was sore, and I stopped and started dancing, trying to distract myself.

I moved on, and kept punching the wall, eventually, I got tired and fell asleep.

____________________________________

A/N: Heya! It's Jaz's birthday today, yay! 💕

Happy Birthday Πατάτινε μου! 🎉

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Rawr 🍪