Just Another Girl To You

Sixteen

"Buy me chocolate tomorrow." Jaz demanded of Ronald Talagtag, the classroom underdog.

"Okay."

Odd request isn't it? Let me put it into perspective for you:

Tomorrow was Valentine's Day.

And no, he didn't want the chocolate for himself, (he didn't like sweet stuff), he was going to give it to Lei.

Aside from the said sweets, he's also ordered a bouquet of flowers for her, from our fabulous Values Ed. teacher, Mr. Ala.

Was I hurt by this? More or less.

Appalled? No, it was expected.

Enraged? No. I was quite numb, actually.

On the other hand, I didn't expect anything. I was certain that I would not receive anything.

I wasn't well liked. Sure, I had a few friends here and there, but only a handful were genuine.

Also, guys didn't like me. I was mean, and I wouldn't consider myself attractive.

Some would say that I was "pretty" or "cute" or "beautiful", but they would always say as a follow up that I was "too mean" or something.

I wasn't really bothered, it wasn't the real me, and it's better to be abrasive, than to be looked down upon and made fun of, right?

Many wouldn't agree, for they knew nothing of how I really was. And I must admit, my method of self-preservation isn't the best, but it's the only one I knew.

I didn't like being mean, I was just trying to be strong. It's such a sad, lonesome way, isn't it?

***

People entered, the boys with gifts and flowers, the girls, glancing longingly at the trinkets.

Poor fools, all expecting to receive something.

I was too.

But I knew better than to wish. That was my current saying, actually; "If you don't expect, you don't get disappointed" - and many agree.

Ann, Lara's "twin", had received quite a few gifts, which brought her immense joy.

Lara, on the other hand, has received a single valentine, from her current boyfriend.

Lei received lots. The bouquet and chocolate from Jaz, and many others from different guys.

Guess that could say something about what kind of girl she was, right? Not only was she nice, she was also quite the flirt.

She didn't even bother thanking the givers. No one took note of that of course, it was only I.

I made a habit of knowing my adversaries before, and now, even without consent, I tend to do it.

***

At the end of the day, girls were comparing what they've received, and I was asked what I got.

"Nothing." I replied to their astounded faces.

"What?" Lara asked.

"I got nothing. Not like I'm the only one."

I brushed it off, feigning contentment.

Of course it was unpleasant that I hadn't received anything, specially considering that this was the first year that I got nothing.

Things were really different now, weren't they?

Another thing that troubled me was that Jaz seemed to be drifting further away from me.

I was still a loyal friend, but he talked to me less everyday, we still texted, but not as often, and we didn't have any real topics.

It's as if I've been cast off once I've worn out my use. Like I was only "needed" when he was upset.

I didn't want to think that way, refused to paint him in a bad light.

Maybe he was just busy? Or maybe he realized I was a useless person. It wasn't his fault.

That was my fatal flaw, have you noticed? I tended to put the ones I loved on some sort of mental pedestal.

I believed the best of them, and I refused to view them as bad people. I saw their flaws, but excused them as reactions to my imperfections.

I believed they were perfect.

I believed he, himself, was perfect.

How? Why? I cannot say for sure.

People, my friends especially would be reminding me that he's only but human, and that I should "wake up" and see that he's been mistreating me.

***

Like that one time when Louise and I had broken down, due to Jaz's unfeeling attitude, not caring how he's been hurting the others who care dearly for him.

At that time, Louise liked him so, and I, already loved him. He was always with Lei, "fooling around" with her, right in front of our faces, oblivious to our pain. Louise and I talked about it, and tears fell unbidden, (more from me than her).

Complaining how it was so cruel that he'd have to show it off, despite knowing we liked him.

When he found out, he simply said that he wasn't at fault, and didn't care if we were crying.

He said he had nothing to do with us, and that it's our fault for liking him.

Such an ass isn't he?

That's when Louise started giving up.

But I didn't.

I refused to bring him down, and I believed that it was my fault, even if it was logically wrong.

Love makes a fool out of all of us, right? It's been proven, and tested, a million times over, through the centuries.

***

Days went on, not once did we communicate properly.

I'd try to start conversations, but he lacked the inclination to let it continue, and I didn't want to be a bother.

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A/N: Hey guys! I originally wrote an über long authors note, but wattpad got screwed, so it kinda pissed me off.

Thanks for reading.

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