Tamed

13

A strong arm is hanging over my waist and someones breath is tickling the back of my neck. I look around at the dim room and heave a sigh remembering the previous night. I know that Maya over reacted and so did I but if I am going to be his soul mate forever then I need to know he wont keep things from me, that is actually what this is really about, I want to know that Sam will never do this to me.

"Good morning" Sam says startling me, I jump in shock. "Sorry I didn't mean to startle you"

I look in the other direction and crawl out of his arms and the bed. "No its okay" I mumble looking at my feet. The awkward silence sets in so I leave the room walking into the bathroom to have a nice hot shower to relax.

Showering has always been a time for me to just think about everything and to relax usually it makes me feel better but right now thinking about the previous events is just making me feel guilty. Yelling at Sam was not the right thing to do especially when he is going through all of this stuff with his brother and the rogues that he was having an argument about a few days ago. I don't think having me here is a very good idea for him, ever since I met him all I have brought him is pain and unhappiness.

I hear someone knock on the door of the bathroom "Alex please come out I need to talk to you" Sam says from the other side of the door. His voice sounds vulnerable and weak and it kills me to hear him like this. This is what I have done to him.

I sigh loudly turn the water off letting the cool air wash over me. I dry myself with the plush towel and remember the way Sam caresses my arms when I'm cold or tired, the way he kisses my temple when I am sad, the way he wraps his arms around me when I am sleeping, the way he kisses my lips. I don't realise I am crying until the tears drop down onto my bare feet. I look up into the mirror and I look like a wreck, my hairs a wet mess and there are red rings around my eyes. How can he love that, how can he love me. 

"Alex are you okay in there?" Sam asks, I nod but then remember that he cant see me so I wrap the towel tightly around me and walk out of the steamy bathroom into the tension filled bedroom. I walk quickly over to my duffle bag I had bought with me and grab out some clothes quickly running back into the bathroom to get changed and after finally finishing with my morning routine I exit the bathroom hoping to get this talk over with. 

I look around the room sighting Sam sitting on the window seat in the corner with a pillow held tightly to his chest. I stand and just watch him for a second just sitting their staring out the window into the open space. He doesn't look happy, not with me around. Maybe this whole moving in with Sam thing isn't a good idea after all. 

"So what did you want to talk about?" I mumble breaking the ice. Sam turns his head and sets the pillow back on the seat. He sighs frustratingly. 

"I'm sorry Alex, I'm so so sorry. And I know that your disappointed in me that I didn't tell Maya and I want to make it up to you but I don't know how. I love you Alex. Forever. But  need to know how to make this up to you because it is killing me to not have you happy with me." He looks so sad and I feel a little bit of my heart break, the next thing I have to say is going to be hard.

"Sam" I whisper the tears pooling in my eyes, "We need to break up" I mumble quietly, so quiet I think he didn't hear but I know he did when he sucks in a sharp breath. 

"No" he whispers his voice cracking, then louder, "No!"

The tears start to fall down my face and I turn around not wanting to look at his disappointed face. 

"No Alex, you cant leave! You cant do it!" I can hear the hurt and betrayal in his voice and it just makes this situation so much harder. 

"Sam you don't understand" I begin