From the Flames- Book Six

Ch. 4- Clean

I took an uneven breath as she sat down next to me. She and I have had our ups and downs. More so because I am so similar to her in a way. But in the end, she is my Mother. She risked everything so I could have this life. So I can live in a world with her in it. Elora survived for me, for her family and friends. Even when she was going through the most pain, she did not give up. And that is something that I idolized. 

She was the one that told me stories while Dad sang to me. The songs and stories were the same. That despite it all, love wins. It will always win. But I do not think that is what I believe. Not anymore. Not when I destroyed the very thing that was meant to redeem me. 

"What are you thinking about, sweetheart?" Mother asked in a soft voice. 

I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. "All my life, I was led to believe that I am a monster. That I would destroy everything in my wake. It is what Uncle Christian saw in his vision, after all. I just did not think this would be the start. I didn't want to kill him, Mama."

She placed her hand in mine. "No matter what anyone tells you, Kalama. You, my daughter, are good. Yes, you have a great power that can be dangerous. But you came from me, Kala. And because of that, you are good."

"His blood is on my hands." I whispered. "I loved him and I killed him." 

"Maxwell was your first love. No matter what. And he will always be in your heart for as long as you live. But do not blame yourself for losing control. Do you know how many times I wanted to give up? So many times, you wouldn't even believe."

"Was Dad your first love?" I asked finally, turning to face her. She stiffened at my question but ultimately, she answered. That was the thing about us Faeries, we cannot lie. But even if she was not her true form, she was still going, to tell the truth. Because that was how she is. 

She smiled a little bit. "Yes and no. Jackson was the first person that I ever loved with my whole heart. Ever since we were children, he showed me what it is like to have another person that will be right beside you no matter what. He was my best friend and will always be until I see him again." She paused, wiping a tear from her cheek. "But your father...he took me by surprise. I think the best ones always do. He is more than my heart but my soul. I know that wherever we go, I will always find him. If he was lost in another universe, I would know exactly where he would be. He showed me the kind of love that I read about in all the books I read."

"Do you ever think he is watching over you? Uncle Jax." I asked. "Do you think he wants for us to get justice for him?"

"Yes. When he found out about this world, he did not want anything to do with it. Jackson wanted a normal life and she robbed him of that. She knew what he meant to me and she decided to take it away. She started a war and I will give her one." she turned toward me, staring into my eyes. "My hands are stained, too. And I do not ever think they will be clean. Not ever. Not until I end them."

"When I see my grandmother, I will use my powers against her. All of it. For everyone she has ever hurt. For hurting you, mother. For murdering Jackson. I promise that we will get that vengeance. We will win this war."

"I want you to promise me that if anything were to happen to me or your Father, you will run. You take your brother with you and find a safe house. You know where they are located. You take the little kids and keep them safe if it comes down to it." she took an uneven breath. "I never should have raised you two in the middle of this dangerous world."

My eyes widened. "You are not going anywhere, Mom. And whatever you think, we were raised in this dangerous world because Ace and I are dangerous. People are afraid of us and that will never change."