Broken But Not Alone

Chapter 23

The team all knew what happened and were really careful around Peter like he was going to break and he hated it. Loki saw that and treated him like he usually does, Peter was glad about that. He didn't tell Ned or Mj, he kept the rest of his blades a secret and he kept the new cuts on his legs a secret.

He could feel himself slipping like he could before, everyday slipping further and further into a dark hole, one he'd not be able to get out. He was becoming more distant from Tony, the other avengers and Ned and Mj. He didn't care enough to get closer again, he was going to be dead soon.

Right?

•

Peter woke up from another nightmare about May and Ben and his parents telling him that their deaths were his fault. That it should be him that's dead not them, that he should've died when he tried to kill himself.

He believed it, he wished he had died, he wished he was dead. That's when Tony ran into the room seeing a broken teen sitting crying in his bed.

Tony sat on his bed next to him.

"What's up kid?"

"Nothing just leave me alone."

"You had another nightmare, what was it about?"

Peter didn't answer he just lay back down and turned his back on Tony.

"Alright don't talk, but I'll be down in my lab if you need me or if you change your mind and want to talk," Tony said kissing the side of his head before leaving.

Peter didn't want to burden them anymore he looked at the time it was 1:28, only Tony would be up. He got his bag and took everything out and put in 2 changes of clothes, pair of pyjamas, all his money and the box with his blades.

He changed into his spidey suit, wrote a note for Tony and jumped out the window. If everything went right then he'd never be there again, he'd never see Tony and the others again and they wouldn't see him again.

He swung from building to building and sitting on the top of trucks and buses that were leaving the city. He didn't know where he was actually going but he ended up in dc, he looked at his phone it was 11:34 am.

•

Tony knocked on Peter's door he didn't get an answer, he opened the door a little expecting to see him sleeping but all he saw was his room empty and the window wide open he walked in to close it and saw the note. He picked it up and began reading.

Tony, whoever else reads this,
I'm not dead, I don't plan on dying but who knows what will happen. Maybe I will, maybe my wish will come true. But I realised that all I was to you all was a burden, someone who just got in the way, the one who you never knew if he was actually okay or wanting to kill himself.
I can't be that anymore, I don't want to be. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do. But I deserve this, their deaths were my fault, it should have been me not May or Ben or my parents. They would all be alive if it wasn't for me.
I doubt you will but please don't come looking for me and don't try to contact me. I'm sorry,
Peter Parker.

"Oh shit what's he doing," Tony said not realising Thor was behind him.

"Where's the man of spiders?" He asked scaring Tony.

"Shit man don't do that," he said jumping and turning around.

"Sorry," he said with a smile, "whats that?" Thor asked pointing to Peter's note in Tony's hand.

"Here read it," he said handing it to him.

"Oh, what are we going to do?" He asked handing it back to Tony.

"We're going looking for him. Friday tell everyone to go to the meeting room, come on let's go."

•

Peter changed into normal clothes in an alley that no one was in and put his spidey suit in his bag and left like nothing just happened, he soon realised he liked it here it was much less crowed than Queens. He didn't know what he was going to do but he didn't care, he spent his first couple hours walking around getting used to it there.

Then his phone started ringing, it was Tony he cancelled it and was about to put his phone back in his pocket when it started ringing again, this time it was Natasha again he cancelled it. They all tried phoning and didn't stop until he answered.

"What?"

"Where the hell are you?" He heard Tony shout from what sounded like the other side of the room.

"It doesn't matter, can I go n..."

"No! Tell us were you are, we want to know that your okay." Natasha started shouted but ended softly.

"You can here me, so you know I'm okay."

Tony. "Peter you know I can call the police they'll look for you. And we'll be looking for you."

"No, don't," Peter said as an ambulance drove past him followed by a police car.

"Friday, find out where an ambulance and police were just called to." Peter heard Tony say.

"You're better off without me alright. Just let me go."

Bruce. "We can't do that, we do care about you."

"I'm sorry," Peter said before hung up and turned his phone off.

He had left them wondering what happened and trying to phone back but not getting through, they all started panicking.

"There was police and an ambulance called recently to Manhattan and Washington dc," Friday informed them.

"There's no way he'd be in Washington right?" Clint asked.

"Don't think so, but you never know," Tony said looking more worried then everyone else.

"Alright we spit into two teams, one goes to Manhattan the other goes to Washington," Natasha said to everyone.

"Alright but how are we meant to get to Washington in short time?" Steve asked.

"Well Tony, Thor, Sam and Vision go to Washington. The rest of us go to Manhattan," Natasha said smiling to Tony.

"Alright everyone let's get ready," Steve said before leaving the room with everyone else apart from Natasha and Tony.

"He's gonna be okay you know that right?"

"What if he's not? What if he's sitting dead at the bottom of a building like I've already nearly found him like before? I can't lose him," Tony was trying not to cry.

"He thought he was doing us a favour, he thought we'd be better without him. But we are going to find him and he's going to be okay," Natasha said hugging him.

20 minutes later everyone was suited up and ready to leave. Tony, Thor, Sam and Vision took off flying the rest were in a van and were driving.