Purple Death | A BTS Murder Mystery ✔

SIXTEEN

Seokjin had never paid any attention to the fact that Yoongi's bedroom door was facing Hoseok and Jimin's. It had never seemed important, it had never seemed like something that mattered, it had never seemed like something that could change the course of his life. It was just a door, facing another.

But now that he was standing in front of said door, it didn't seem so insignificant anymore. No, the two doors facing each other now represented something Seokjin had tried his best to ignore. The promise that no matter how much Seokjin loved, no matter how much Seokjin prayed, the two doors would still face each other, and that Seokjin couldn't do anything about it. 

It was in the middle of the night, yet Seokjin was standing in the middle of the hallway in pyjama. His hair was messy, the remnant of the last few hours he had spent with his head buried in his pillow, hopelessly trying to silence his cries and dry the tears that kept falling.

It hadn't worked. His eyes were red from crying and he wasn't sure that the pain in his soul would ever go away.

He used to think Yoongi not loving him back what the most painful thing he'd ever have to endure. He used to think that unrequited love was his doom, and that the rest of his life would be spent staring at the one thing he could never truly have. 

Yet earlier in the night, sitting at the dining table and facing Yoongi, it all had come crashing down. Yoongi had lied about seeing Hoseok, that night. He had lied about it, and Seokjin was sure of it. Yoongi had lied and Seokjin had known.

And it was then that the future had painted itself in his mind. A future where he wouldn't be able to see Yoongi anymore, a future where Yoongi wouldn't even be anywhere near him, because Yoongi would be locked away in jail.

It made no sense.

Didn't Yoongi love Hoseok? Didn't he say that nothing could pull them apart? So why had he himself been the one tearing them apart? 

And why, why wouldn't it made Seokjin angry? Why did it only make him sad? 

Why did Seokjin felt like he had been the one being killed? Wasn't heartbreak enough? Wasn't having the boy he loved be a murderer enough of a punishment? Why, rather than relief at finding out that Yoongi wasn't perfect, why could he only feel sorrow?

His heart had been broken by Yoongi not loving him back. But now, his broken heart had turned to dust, dust that was going in every direction but that was somehow still drawn to Yoongi. But Yoongi didn't want it, and Yoongi didn't deserve it, yet Yoongi still had it. 

Seokjin had always thought that love was the best thing in the world. The best thing there was, the only thing you could truly want, the only thing you genuinely needed. And Seokjin had always thought that the pain he lived with came from the fact that he didn't have the love of the one person he wanted it from. He always thought that if Yoongi loved him back, there could be no pain, there could be no hurt, there could be no sadness.

And yet Yoongi had loved Hoseok, and Hoseok had loved Yoongi back, and then there had been sadness, and there had been pain, and there had been death.

Would Seokjin choose love, even if said-love meant a tragic death? Was choosing to love someone who would hurt you a damnation, or was it a salvation? Was signing your death certificate a good thing, if it meant you could finally live in the mean time?

Seokjin knew Yoongi, when he loved, loved too much. He knew Yoongi would lose himself in devotion and passion, and he knew that when Yoongi was hurt, sometimes he would become blind to the hurt he caused others. 

Seokjin knew Yoongi so well, he couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't seen the truth earlier.

His hands felt heavy. They were empty, yet he could very well feel the gun that he was holding. His index finger was twitching on the trigger, yet the barrel wouldn't stay put. 

He had been given a gun in the form of the truth, given it to him just so he could shoot Yoongi with it. 

Or, he could shoot himself. 

"Hyung?" 

Seokjin snapped out of his thoughts and turned to see Jimin, standing in the middle of the dark hallway, eyes wide and confused. 

Jimin blinked. "Hyung, what are you doing standing here? Are you okay?" 

Seokjin didn't move, he just smiled sadly at Jimin and parted his shaking lips, eyes still red.

"Go to bed, Jimin." 

Jimin's eyes widened in confusion at his hyung's broken tone. 

"Hyung, are you - are you thinking of Hobi?" 

His voice was a whisper, because the hallway was dark and the air was heavy and something in Seokjin's expression screamed dejection.

He avoided the question. "Go to bed, Jimin," he repeated a little more forcefully this time.

Jimin stared at him silently for a moment, before something flashed in his eyes and he took a step back.

"You should go to bed too, Hyung. Standing here, standing here, in front of his room, in the middle of the night... it won't bring him back." 

Seokjin closed his eyes painfully, too aware of his bleeding heart and of the fact that soon, there would be no blood left to bleed from it. 

Jimin didn't move for a few moments, but then his voice was heard again. 

"Goodnight, Hyung," he whispered, and the plead in his voice was heard by his elder.

Seokjin stayed unmoving. He waited for Jimin to turn around and retreat back to Namjoon's room. He waited for Jimin to disappear and for silence to take over again. He waited as he stared at Hoseok's bedroom door.

He briefly wondered if Hoseok had done something wrong. Perhaps Hoseok had done too much, or perhaps he hadn't done enough, and perhaps Yoongi hadn't meant to do what he did. 

Yes, perhaps Yoongi was the innocent one, in all of this. 

Seokjin turned his back to the door, slowly retreating to his own room. He knew what he would do. He could feel it in his heart every time Yoongi smiled at him, he could feel it in his skin every time Yoongi touched him, he could feel it in his bones every time Yoongi was near him.

And Seokjin laid in his bed, and soon he fell asleep, and he did it all while sorrowfully wondering why he always loved the one boy he wasn't supposed to.

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A\N - Ugh I am sorry for this awful chapter :( There's only a few left to the story and I've been struggling with the bridge to the end, which is why it's taking forever to write an update. Anyway, next chapter won't be as bad (hopefully)! And there's only a few left~