A Look Inside My Head

Love

Love isn't simple. There is no definite answer for what it is or how you get it.

Its a dangerous thing, I can tell you that. When it comes to love your head doesn't decide when you will feel it. No, thats the heart's job. The heart is the one who chooses who gets to be its holder.

The heart chooses who gets to hold it in their hands and keep safe from harm. The heart chooses who it loves to keep it safe.

Love is dangerous because you will never know how it works. There is not only one type of love. There are so many variations that it can be hard to see.

I may not know what love it but what I have been feeling for this boy for the past two years really feels like it could be just that. I gave this boy my heart to hold and to cherish.

And that terrifies me...

I have so much trust and faith in him. And I hate doubting him because I feel so little about myself. I doubt that he will love me as much as I love him. I always think he can do better than me because I cant see my worth.

Im afraid that one day he will find someone better and will take my heart that he has been holding and shatter it into a million pieces.

Love is a terrifying thing yet we all crave it. Love is a drug and this boy is the dealer. 

Even with him so far away he makes me feel like I am not alone. I trust him with my heart. I trust that he will keep it safe. I trust that he will keep me safe.

Love scares me. Im afraid of getting hurt. But I love him enough to give him my heart and I shall trust him with this precious gift.

Love is odd. But I guess that is why I am drawn to it. Because we are fascinated by what we don't understand.

I love this boy and that scares me. But I'm okay with that.

All I ask is that you keep my heart and it's love for you safe and I will remain yours.