A Look Inside My Head

Growing up

Growing up is a really important part of life. But I don't understand why people want to get there so fast. I don't understand what the appeal is to leave everything you know and start new things. I mean I kind of get it.

You want your freedom, you want you're own place to call yours, but that's so scary to me. I don't know how people can do it because it terrifies me that people can just pack up and leave and never look back at what they had.

I am the kind of person that likes to stay in one place and not move. I like being surrounded by familiar things and I really don't like change all that much. But people thrive for change, and they want it so bad that they plan their entire lives around leaving the place that they don't want to be anymore which I guess I get it but that's just not me.

Like I know one day I'll have to do it. I can't live with my parents my whole life, but the idea of becoming an adult scares me so much. I guess I'm just so used to being dependent on other people who have their lives together because I don't think I do. At least not like them or more specifically my parents I guess.

My friends want to move out of their houses and get an apartment and they want me to join, but I just don't have that financial, physical, and mental ability to do that. Don't get me wrong I think it would be great, but I don't even have a car yet. Hell I just applied to my hopefully first job that will only be two days a week. I am in no way, shape, or form ready to move out.

I really don't understand why people want to be adults so fast. I look around at some of the adults I know and some of them are really miserable. They are not happy with their job, they struggle with paying bills, and it just feels like they have lost that spark that I am sure they once had. My mom even says that being an adult and growing up sucks.

So if an adult is saying that being an adult is awful why would I want to willingly do that?