A Look Inside My Head

Silence

Silence...

Im surrounded by it.

Incased in a shell where I only hear the ringing in my ears. Ears that are begging for some sort of sound so the awful ringing will stop.

Laying in bed, curled up into a ball surrounded by darkness and silence. Nothing to see or hear. Senses pleading to be stimulated.

Creaks and thuds sound off from around the room. I know its the house but I cant help but think it's the ghost in the walls.

Silence follows. More ringing. Trapped...

Cars pass by every so often. Tires on wet pavement.

Music to my ears.

Getting later into the night. All signs of cars passing ceases. Silence is here to stay.

If I listen closely I can hear the faint ticking of a clock.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Soon it becomes more maddening than the silence.

Sleep evades my tired body. Thoughts running rampant through my head. Worrying about tomorrow when all I want to do is sleep.

Tiredness becomes paranoia. Thinking of all the things that could happen. The ghost in the walls who is making all the creaks and thuds is actually a stranger standing in the corner of my room where my coat tree sits. The skeletons in the closet are watching me through the crack between the door and the frame.

I duck under the covers, squeeze my eyes shut and press my hands to my ears. Wanting all the noise in my head to stop and sleep to finally come to me.

Begging for silence.

I open my eyes and I am greeted with the one thing that is both feared and desired.

Silence.

But it never left. It is always here. Waiting for me to escape all the noise inside my head.

After all, I am surrounded by it.

Silence.