Stay Together For The Kids - Michael Clifford Fanfiction

Gone.

I'm almost home, but I have not stopped thinking about everything since I had left Karen's.

Michael was right, I had already done enough. Going out and getting drunk like that, I was as bad as he was.

"Hey." Mum says brightly as I walk in the door. She is busy in the kitchen, as usual.

"Hi." I manage to mumble.

"Where's Ruby?" She asks, confused by my apparent unhappiness.

"With Michael." I say quietly.

"What?" Mum says, her voice rising.

I try to justify myself. I don't want her to think I'm a failure of a parent, even if I felt I was.

"She hasn't seen her father in a while. Plus, Karens there too, nothing will happen under her watch."

Mum doesn't say anything but I know she disagrees. She just doesn't want to diminish my parenting, and I'm very thankful for that.

"Look, maybe this is good. Maybe this can prove that we can work out a way where Ruby can see us both." I say, trying to convince both her and myself.

Mum smiles for my benefit and nods.

"Maybe."

I know she doesn't believe it. But I can't afford not to.

The phone rings, distracting both my mother and I.

I answer quickly, walking out of the room.

"Hello?"

"Hey." I hear a soft voice on the other end, and I feel instantly relaxed.

"Paul." I breathe.

"How are you?" He asks.

"I've being better, I take it you've seen the news?"

"I've never been one for TMZ but yes, I have. That's actually why I needed to speak to you."

Suddenly I'm not as relaxed, and I feel my heart beat quicken. My throat tightens as I listen to the tone in his voice change.

"I care about you, Lily. But I can't keep being friends with you. There is already a custody battle for my daughter and I can't let anything stand in the way of that." He speaks softly, but also firmly. I know what he is doing is the right thing, but it doesn't hurt me any less.

"Ok." I manage.

"I'm sorry." He says it so quietly it's barely audible.

"I know." I whisper back.

Paul clears his throat.

"I should go."

"Ok." It seems is all I can say.

I hang up the phone, and feel defeated.

Michael won again, at something I didn't even know he was fighting.

I couldn't let him win again, but what Paul had said added more worry. If there really was a battle for Ruby ahead, could what happened last night really affect that?

I wanted to say no, but I think I already knew the truth. I was already losing before it had begun.

I lock myself in the room for the rest of the night. I can't cry, my bodies too exhausted. I'm not as upset as I am stressed. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know how to have the best future. I don't even know what the best future is.

Mum comes in to check up on me every hour or so, with a worried expression that scares me. She looks as sick as I feel.

She finally gives up on checking up on me, after I pretend to be asleep. I already know I'm not going to sleep.

I get up early in the morning, keen to try and take it one day at a time. I know I can't control everything that is going to happen, I just have to do my best. Whatever that is.

I'm already showered and dressed when Mum wanders into the kitchen as I'm making myself a coffee at 8am.

"You're up early for a Sunday." She yawns, putting on the kettle for herself.

I just shrug.

"How was your sleep?" She asks.

"Good." I lie.

I turn back to her, looking up at the clock.

"Is it too early to pick Ruby up?" I ask. Mum shrugs.

"There's no agreement or arrangement, I think it's fine." She says. Mum doesn't really have it together until she's had her coffee.

"I'm going to go see her at least, I don't like this waiting."

Mum just nods, looking half asleep while she waits for the kettle to boil.

I knock on Karen's door, and it takes less then a second for her to answer it.

"Lily!" She cries, flinging her arms around me.

She seems flustered, and she's shaking.

"What's wrong?" I ask urgently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do." She whimpers, cradling her face in her hand.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, trying to pry her hand away so I can hear her clearly.

Karen looks up to me, her face distorted in fear and agony.

"Ruby's gone."