Stay Together For The Kids - Michael Clifford Fanfiction

The End Part 1

Michael's breath is hot against my neck. I hear his breathing, heavy and beautiful. His chuckle is sweet, as are his kisses trailing to my mouth. I taste him, his tongue slowly forcing it's way into my mouth. I moan into him, and a smile breaks out across his face in response.

He breaks away, and I don't open my eyes. I let the sweet taste of lips savour through me.

"I love you." I hear him whisper.

I flutter my eyes open, the familiar warmth spreading through me.

And he's gone. And then I remember. I am alone.

I am starting to become used to this dream, and waking up in a sweat as I realise it's not real. It has become a nightmare. One I'm not really waking up from.

I turn in my bed, hugging into my pillow as I have the past four mornings in a row. I pretend it's him.

I hear mum enter my room, and I pretend I am still asleep. She knows I'm not, but she doesn't say anything.

I hear her place something on my bedside table, and by the smell I can tell it's coffee. I wait until she has left the room until I spin, inhaling the bitter taste, letting it burn my mouth and wake me up.

I sit up in my bed and take in my surroundings, slow and deliberate. Everything is slow and deliberate now. Cautious. I'm scared of the things around me, of what is happening. I have to be more aware.

My eyes fall on the black dress hanging on my door, the one my mother had bought home yesterday. I had tried it on last night and cried for half an hour, locking myself in the bathroom so I could hyperventilate in peace.

I know I would have to wear it today. I would have to be brave today. I couldn't break down today.

I drain my mug and push off the bed with the most energy I can muster. I sway on the floor, waiting for a few seconds until I have gotten my balance. I'm weak, and I'm not surprised. Caffeine and cigarettes is not exactly a well balanced diet.

I manage to slowly shuffle down to the kitchen. Mum and Calum are sitting at the table, already dressed. Mum is eating and asking Calum if he wants something.

"No thanks." He murmurs, shaking his head at Mum and the toast she has in her hand. His voice is so quiet that if I hadn't seen his lips move I wouldn't of realised he had spoken.

I put the mug in the sink, letting it make a loud noise against the metal.

Mum and Calum's heads turn to me in a jump.

"Morning." Mum says, swiftly moving out of her chair and by my side.

"I'm ok." I try to reassure her. I even put on a smile to prove it. I've gotten better at smiling, even when I don't feel anything. It makes mum seem less stressed, which I want.

Mum just nods. "We have to be down there in an hour. You should probably go shower." She says in a hushed tone.

I nod, but turn to look at Calum. His head is looking down at his hands again, his eyes as far from me as possible. I don't have any words to comfort him anymore.

I leave them alone, Calum in his quiet state and mum in her fragile one, and go have a shower. I let myself stay in their longer then I usually would, and I try to cry, to let everything out so I won't have an emotional breakdown later today.

It doesn't work. No tears come. No sadness. Nothing. Just numb. Admitting defeat, I step out of the shower, and slip the dress I so despised on.

I study myself in the mirror. I could be prettier, make myself as lovely looking as possible in such a significant event in my life. I don't want to. Michael wouldn't of gave a shit if I turned up as Winnie the Pooh. He just would of wanted me there.