I place my keys in the dish as I come home from another day of work. I wasn't able to see Ruby this morning or last night, and I miss her.
I walk into the living room, expecting to see Mum propped on the couch, or hopefully, Ruby wandering around. Neither are in eyesight.
"Mum." I call out.
I hear shuffling and mum comes bustling down the hallway, her finger to her lips.
"I just put Ruby down to sleep." She whispers, walking into the kitchen and me following close behind.
"Could I go say goodnight?" I ask. I start feeling a bit jealous. I should be the one putting my daughter to sleep.
Mum shakes her head. "She just fell asleep."
I don't say anything, but feel disappointed.
I turn away, putting my coat on the counter, wondering if I'll ever be a mother to my daughter again.
"Oh!" Mum says suddenly, making me jump.
"What?" I ask her, kind of annoyed at her sudden outburst.
"I almost forgot." She says, rummaging through her handbag.
"Forgot what?" I ask, still annoyed.
"You missed this just after dinner." She says, clicking on something on her phone. I see her open a video.
"What is this?" I ask, now more curious then anything.
"Just watch it." Mum says. She seems over enthusiastic and I can tell it must mean something to her.
Mum hands me her phone, and I click on the video.
Ruby comes up on the screen, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch. "Say it again." I hear mums voice.
Ruby gives mum a confused look, and I can hear mum chuckling.
"I love you." Mum says.
Ruby's face lightens up at the words.
"Love you!" She squeals back.
My heart melts. The first time she's said 'I love you.'
A huge smile comes across my face, and I turn back to mum, holding her phone out to her. I see mums face as she takes the phone, and my grin comes off my face.
Mums grin is to rival mine, and I realise that she is as much of a parent to Ruby as I am. It's petty, but I can't help the pain I feel in my chest thinking about it.
I turn away, and walk over to the couch.
Mum follows. "What's wrong?" She asks, looking confused.
I don't make eye contact with her, and just shake my head. No, it's petty. Mum was doing a beautiful job looking after Ruby while all this goes on. I can't make her feel bad for it. "Nothing." I murmur.
"Bullshit." Mum says loudly.
My head jerks up to her, and I know she's serious. She doesn't swear unless it is.
I scrunch up my face, trying to word this right.
"I just feel so inadequate as a parent. I'm missing my daughter." I say slowly.
Mums lips tighten as she looks stern. "Listen to me. You are not a bad mother. You are doing the best you can with the situation you got." She tells me firmly.
"I know, like you did." I nod.
Mum pauses at this, and hesitates before she speaks. "I wasn't the best mother to you, I'll be fair, but I loved you." She sounds sad, and I feel guilty for bringing anything up.
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Stay Together For The Kids - Michael Clifford Fanfiction
FanfictionMichael loved his band. He loved his wife, his child, his life. He also loved drinking. The band has broken up. They all have wives, children, respectable jobs. Michael is about to lose all of them. Reeling from the break up of his band, he has fou...