Stay Together For The Kids - Michael Clifford Fanfiction

Not drunk, just hurt.

I sat myself on the couch, trying to distract myself with the T.V. It doesn't work.

I pace aimlessly around the house, looking for something to do, or clean, or anything that will distract me from the pain ripping through me. I just needed to get out of my own head. Tears were threatening to spill, and I had no desire to let them return.

I do not want to think about my failing marriage. I do not want to think about the consequences of my actions. And I don't want to think about him every second of the day.

When I had started giving up on the idea of a distraction, there was a knock on the door.

'Thank god', I think to myself, rushing over to the door to greet whoever was lucky enough to take my mind of Michael.

I open the door, and get greeted by, Michael. And when I mean greeted, I mean pushed lurid the way as he entered the house.

"Where the fuck is my daughter?" He says, turning to me after looking around the living room.

I sigh, shutting the door behind him. I should I checked to see who it was.

"Hello, Michael." I say, crossing my arms.

"Where is she?" He yells again.

"Out shopping." I say, in an exasperated tone I'm trying to use so I don't yell back.

"I can't believe you fucking did this to me." He says low, walking over to me as he does.

"I warned you."

Michael grabs my arm, holding it so tight that I'm sure it will leave a bruise.

"You said you would walk out of my life, you said nothing about her!" He yells in my face.

I look into his eyes, and I'm surprised to see he hasn't been drinking. I knew his eyes too well to know when he was sober.

"What was I supposed to do, Michael?" I say, my voice rising. "Leave you with her?"

"You weren't supposed to leave at all!"

"I had no choice!" I yell, my voice rising. "You did this to yourself!"

Michael tried to push me in the shoulder, but I am too quick for him, moving before he could hurt me.

"Don't you dare try to fucking hurt me, Michael!" I growl at him.

Both of us are shaking with anger.

He ignores me and pushes me hard up against the wall, and it feels like my back is breaking under is pressure.

I slap him across the face, hard.

He retreats back quickly, holding his face. He looks at me with shock. I'd never gotten violent with him before.

I hold my stance, not trying to show the regret for what I had just done. I hadn't wanted to hurt him. But I don't want him to know that.

Michael stands straight, and I watch as he recollects himself.

"You hit me." He says softly.

I nod. I wonder if he see's the power of consequences yet.

"I can't believe you fucking hit me."

He was turning this back on me. Unbelievable.

I bite my lip. Hopefully he won't be left with any marks on him. If I was going to do this I couldn't run the risk if losing Ruby over something so simple. I decide not to fight him on it.

"Get out." I tell him, before any more damage could be done to one another.

Michael stands there for a second, pondering whether he should leave or not. He seems to realise that I wasn't going to take his abuse lying down anymore.

"Fine." He scowls, turning around, holding his hand to his face like a skulking child.

It makes me sick to think of him playing the victim.

I follow him to the door, and he says nothing as he leaves. I make sure to slam the door as soon he's out on the front step.

But as I do, I feel the tears spring to my eyes. The same tears that I had been fighting so hard to keep away. A revolting pain tightens up my chest, and I double over. This was pain like I had never experienced.

I lean against the door, falling down it as I do so.

I resist for a while longer, before succumbing to the pain.

My heaving sobs choke through, and I don't try to calm myself down. I just let it all out.

I feel my breathing slow down, my sobbing become quieter. I can still hear myself wailing in pain. Until, I realise, it's not me.

Confused, I stand up and open the front door. I look down, and find Michael in the same curled up position I was in moments earlier, sobbing in the same uncontrollable way I understood too well.

Instinctively, I sit down next to him. He knows I'm there without looking up, because his head lands in my lap.

"Shh." I whisper to him, wrapping my arms around him to hold him.

I can feel myself going numb from pain.

"Shh." I whisper again as he his sobbing becomes louder.

I have started to rock, like the way I used to rock Ruby to sleep. I can feel his pain radiating through me.

I fucking love him. And god, I wish I didn't.