Red Ribbons//Langst

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This might be a shorter chapter so forgive me, and it's whilst Lance is in the healing pod.
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Shiro p.o.v

Lance has been in the healing pod for two weeks, it's feels like longer though. The whole crew as been on edge, none of them can come to terms about Lance trying to drown himself but it all fits together.

The cuts he had all over himself, my missing sleeping pills, his being so distant but I guess we didn't help that. We just sat back and made it worse.

Maybe if I had been easier on him, maybe if I had reached out and helped more but what can I do now. I can help when he is awake but what difference does that make or excuse from my past mistakes.

My footsteps were like gunshots as I walked to the healing bay to check on Lance. We all have been spending time at his pod just talking to him. His life vitals are going up but his Neurological signs aren't changing.

"Hey Loverboy" I Tragically joked, my shadow on the tinted glass. I could see now how thin Lance was, we could see on his scans all the cuts and scratches, it scared me thats he could do that to himself.

I sat on the cold floor, my back resting on the glass in the light dim. "Lance how could I have helped you" I whispered to him. "Lance how could we help" I said again. We just wanted hem to emerge but it has been two weeks and that's the longest any of us have been in the healing pod ever.

A storm surge of emotions clogged up my throat as I tried to speak again.

"Lance please, why why why did you try and kill yourself, was it something I did"

I sobbed, "how could we all do this to you, it was our fault, we didn't care enough for Lance when he was awake and now he was like this. What is wrong with us."
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Pidge p.o.v

How can I react. So Lance is suicidal and tried to kill Himself how do I react to that. It's hard to believe our happy little loverboy was hiding such a heavy mental illness under the surface and how long has he been hiding it.

What else can we do but just sit and wait. He was due to come out of his healing pod days ago but he still hasn't emerged. It's gotten to the point where I want to go at the glass with a crow bar and bust him out but that won't help him.

I ask him questions, How are you Lance?, I hope you are feeling Okay, can we hang out more once you come back, he can't hear them but it makes me feel better.

"You know Lance, I'm really sorry for all the crap I must have given you before and well" I sputtered. I was crying like a little baby now, the world was falling out from under my feet and staying steady was harder than it looked.

"Was it my fault, what could we have done differently to help him,What did we do wrong Lance, how could we have helped you." I balled like a small child. The hiccups that followed were intense. I can't deal with this I have to get away and let someone else take the shift. A small sound made me jump.

"Pidge?"

Keith stood shell shocked in the door way. I curled up and cried despite him being there. "Hey, hey what's wrong" he walked over to me and kneeled down, his hand came to my back.

I stiffened and stood up, this was to much, now Kieth was here and can watch Lance I can't do it. "PIDGE WHATS WRONG" he called out after me.

"I-I can't, I j-ust can't" I cried out and proceed to lock myself in my room.

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Keith p.o.v

Pidge bolted out of the room crying. What has been wrong with the crew , yes this is sad and upsetting but I have managed to hold myself together. I just want things to be normal and them all crying about Lance won't wake him up.

I turned to him, just floating absently in the water. His features are timeless through the crystal glass. He was so skinny ,He was muscular, yes but you can see most of his bones.

I wanted to yell, to scream and shout at him for doing this. I was just so mad at not him but...but myself. What could I have done differently, what is wrong with me that would make him do this.

I was moving closer to his healing pod, so close I could reach out and touch it.

"Lance why did you do this" I whined and glanced at his body scan, red marks glowed on were his has been hurting himself. Dark red patched covered his forearms, thighs and neck.

I deeply sighed and put my hand out.

Deep shame rocked me like I was a small cork bouncing in a deep ocean. "WHY LANCE" I Frustratingly screamed. I was just so mad but i didn't know who to be mad at, myself, him, the crew, all of the universe for ignoring Lance for his amazing self and now he was like this, broken and mentally hurting so badly he tried to kill him self.

And I missed him, I missed him more than I would ever admit because we "hated" Escher other. I was a unhappy little freak and Lance was a lovely sociable person who could see the best in everyone but himself. Why doesn't he just wake up and see how amazing he is.

I broke down now, crying like pidge was. "Why won't you wake up" I cried. "Y-you can Lance but why do you refuse to wake, why won't you just wake up"  I called out to him, trying and hoping he would hear me through the glass.

I didn't know how to deal with all of this and I ran, It's was weak of me but I ran from that room. I didn't know where I was going but if I was there any longer I would start pulling out my hair and screaming. I don't know how to cope with how much I miss him, it was like and acid was being sucked through the marrow of my bones.