Red Ribbons//Langst

|6|

This will be a brutal chapter, suicide, blood just be warned.

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I woke with a jump. The shells in my palm and my head resting on the salty sand. The other paladins were all fast asleep under the stars. The waves crashing against the shore mirrored my heart beat.

I felt horrible like nothing I had ever felt before. The many violent voices rang in my ears . What's the point of living, why should I even breath, why can't I just die, I should cut open my wrists and let the red stream out, I should do the world a favour and die.

I gulped and pushed back tears. I needed one thing and that's was to swim.

I walked away from my paladins, a shell dropped from my hand and the world grew darker.

I walked over our sand castle, a shell dropped from my hand and my longing for deaths cold embrace grew stronger.

I walked into the water but held onto the last shell like it was my only chance of survival. My mind screamed and cried because it didn't want to die but that yell was wrong, I needed to die.

My feet sunk into the water. The chill went up my legs. The water seemed to grow darker around me, I was a poison that's drained any good from the world, if I am dead that colour will come back.

Deeper and deeper I waded in.

It rose to my chest and my depressed heart beater. A wave of strong emotions surged over me and I looked into the nights sky and let the tears waver down my cheeks.

I whispered to the starry sky "please if you don't want me to die then just do something". A small shooting star leaped through the night sky pointing to the beach.

I let go of all my last hopes for life and the last shell sunk from my hand.

I disappeared in the cold waves. It damp hug suffocating me. I blurrly gazed at the surface through the ceiling of liquid. My bubbles let go of lips and rose. Rose like how I wanted to. Deeper, deeper, deeper I plummeted into the dark, my own troubles like a chain and ball around me ankle dragging my deeper.

'If you don't drown down here then think of how much more a failure you are, TO WEAK TO KILL YOURSELF'

The voice screamed and I excepted it was me saying those words, it had been me saying those things all along. I let out a desperate breath but what meet my lips was a ocean of water that gushed into my lungs.

Happiness and numbness spread all over me. Endorphins released into my brain making my last moments feel good. A slide show of blurrly images flowed through my brain as ocean was denied from it. I slowly closed my eyes, this is how it's meant to be and it is better this way.

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Shiro p.o.v

I jutted from my sleep. Why did I wake up?. My eyes focused on the stars above and how they winked at me, a single shooting star flew over me.

I sat up and looked at my surroundings. Pidge, Keith, Allura and hunk all sleeping soundly but.... a single shell was buried in the sand, it's small round spiraling pattern was gorgeous, it gentle beauty was like.....Adam.

I stood and couldn't place what was wrong. Then my dad senses kicked in.

"Lance" I uttered. My head flicked to the sea. A small figure was making it way out into the ocean. It lay back and sunk under.

"Lance?" I started stumbling to the waves. He didn't come up, panic was a wave about the crash on me.

"LANCE" I screamed and found myself running to the water. The panic was striking me with a sharpened blade. He wasn't coming up. It all clicked together now. He was trying the kill him self. I tripped and fell in the sand, my ankle throbbing with pain but I needed to get to the water.

I bolted into the waves and fought the tide. Lance was in a sea of blue darkness. A small crop of bubbled sprouted up from about twenty metres away.

I swam my fastest, My heart racing must have been louder than a drum. I looked up to the sky and took a deep breath.  I swam down. His blue body was resting on the ocean floor. At this moment I saw all the cuts on his arms and thighs, his blue eyes closed.

I dove deeper and reached out to him.

His body was limp and a dead weight and Weak, so cold. I fought to the surface but Lance was like a slowly sinking ship, like trying to pull a full bucket to the surface.

"LANCE LANCE CAN YOU HEAR ME" I yelled on the surface, fighting for air. No response.

The adrenaline kicked in, I lay on my back and pulled him over me and I kicked with my  legs.

So many bad thoughts fused into my mind, they whispered venomous things to me.

I pulled Lance up the beach. "LANCE PLEASE" I shook him but nothing. My finger flew to his neck. I breathed freely as a weak pulse leapt into my finger tips. I need to get him to a healing pod.

"ALLURA" I screamed but the others were already running to me. "Shiro what's wrong with him" she asked and took Lances hand. "He-he... we need to get him to a healing pod right now." The other nodded and we all lifted our loverboy.

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We rushed to the castle. As we lifted I couldn't stop the hot tears slipping down my face. Why did he want to do this and was it my fault. I caught Keith and pidges eyes surveying his many cuts and bruises, the small nail marks on his arms and legs that's still seeped blood.

The healing pod was ready and we didn't even bother with the recommendation stuff, we just threw him in there.

Now Lance was maybe getting healthier the others wanted answers, answers I didn't have.

"Please Shiro what happened" pidge pleaded. My throat was tighter then a snake wrapped around a animal. I gaspedand my lungs refused to make sound but I needed to be strong.

"He was trying to kill himself"

Silence was horrible and this was worse than any silence I had ever heard of not heard. Pidge's hands were over her mouth. Hunks face drained white. Allura fell to her knees and just stared at the small boy in the pod and Keith, he threw down his jacket and ran crying from the room.