It was like red ribbons streaming down my arms. The pain all washed away with the tide. How many pills is enough to make me never wake. How can no one see such a simple thing, or do they see it but just ignore. I want to ignore that voice in my head.
None of the paladins have taken lances suicide attempt well.
Allura hasn't slept and Pidge was breaking down in tears in an explosive manner. Shiro didn't leave Lance's bed side, it was like Shiro was blaming himself for not being there when Lance woke up. Hunk hasn't come out of his room in days and Coran was badly shaken up by finding the kitchen in that state. And I..... I don't want to think about it and I have been training an unhealthy amout, I know it's not okay what I doing but it keeps my mind off Lance. I just can't face what I saw after we put him in the healing pod, well.
Flash back
My breaths were uneven as I stood paralysed with terror. I looked with glassy eyes at my fellow paladins, at my family who were broken and Distraught by the overwhelming grief. I looked down at my hands and saw them stained in his blood. Something numb shattered my heart. I went onto auto pilot and started cleaning the bloody path from the kitchen to Lance's room, back to the healing bay, the white noise still blinding my eyes and Deafening my ears.
I finished cleaning and left the healing bay. Allura and Pidge had gone there separate ways, Shiro was still waiting next to Lance's healing pod, his hands over his ears and his silent tears staining the ground.
I could still feel the blood on my hands so I went to take a shower. I stood in the bathroom looking over myself. I was pale and my eyes were dark, my hair messed up. Blood was scattered on my face and my hands were covered in dry blood.
I felt So unattached to the world around me, even the water running over my skin didn't seem to make contact.
And now here is where I am now, I'm sitting in my bed and trying not to think. Lance has been in there for days and his vitals are still low. I just ant him back, we all want him back but life is a cruel mistress.
Time skip A/n this will be a choppy chapter.
"Hey Shiro" i said and Brough his food in. "Oh hey Keith" Shiro said with an airy tone.
Shiro hasn't left this room for days so I keep bringing him food, it helps that all of Hunks trouble has made him cook tonnes of food.
"How are you Shiro" I asked not expecting an answer. "Yeah yeah I'm fine" he shunned the words and faked a smile at me.
Lance still looked sickly in the healing pod, he has gotten better which is good but still no telling of when he pops out.
"Look Shiro go and get some rest, I can watch Lance for a bit" i Negotiated. "That's what happened last time" Shiro snapped. I felt hurt that he doesn't trust me but he hasn't slept in days he needs rest. "Shiro you need the rest. If anything goes wrong I will go straight to you but please get some sleep" i matter of factly stated.
Shiro's Demeanour broke and he looked so beaten up. "Okay I will go and get sleep BUT if anything starts happening you go straight to me or get someone else to watch him because we can't have Lance getting out and.....and" Shiro fell silent and stiffened. "Nothing I'm going now" he said and left the room.
————————————————————
I sat with Lance. I can't put into words or thoughts how truely scared I am. I just wanted Lance to get better but I left to because of my selfish feeling and Lance awoke with pout me there. I though about what might of happened if I was there when Lance woke.
Him Sleepily tumbling into my arms. His tears at what he had done but my words telling him we could make it all better, I wanted to take Lance and take him away from the cruel world but I had also been horrible to Lance.
My silent pride at his failure, my not inventing when Allura or Pidge was mean, my letting Shiro harshness get to him. I tilted my head back against the healing pod glass. "Why Lance, all I wanted was for you to be happy but why can't I do that for you, you Mightn't want me to blame myself but Lance............" I stoped to breath.
"I'm sorry".
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—————————— Shiro p.o.v
I should be sleeping, but I can't. What happened if I sleep and Lance wakes and I'm not there to tell him I'm sorry.
I need to trust Keith but it's so hard.
A/N
Can we all agree that the new season of voltron is trash. It's fucking sucks so much and I am so disappointed that I can't fathom how upset I am.
I want to finished this book to do the fandom so well needed justice.
