track and trace // calum hood

19 | Calum

It was Luke's idea.

Of course, it was Luke's idea, he was the one walking in on me and Liz when I specifically told him I had no time and he was welcome in an hour or so. The stubborn blonde didn't listen and walked in any way.

Suddenly Luke wanted a 'guys night out' the same night the girls had their girls night out. A big intervention is what it was.

They had dragged me to a somewhat cozy pub they found when they wandered around the city this afternoon and ordered some beers for us. "You know we have to fly first thing in the morning, right? I wanted to go and have an early night in." I complained as Ashton handed me a beer.

"It's one beer, stop whining," Luke said as Michael took a seat next to him.

"You're still sleeping with Liz?" Michael suddenly said, like a toddler who couldn't keep a secret. I gave Luke a death glare. "You told him?!" I said irritated, but the young man raised his hands up. "I just told him I walked in you guys," he said and I turned my head to look at Ashton. "You told him?!" I said again, now even more irritated than before.

"Look, mate, I -" Ashton started but I cut him off. "It was a secret, who else knows?" I said, the thought of everyone knowing that I was still sleeping with her scaring me. "No one, just us. We're worried about you, mate." Ashton said.

As I said, an intervention.

"I'm fine." I took another sip of my beer as they all shook their head. "Cal, you're not. You've changed. Ever since the tour started you get lost in your own head all the time, you don't hang out with us as much as you used to and you literally have sex with everyone that has boobs." Luke said and I rolled my eyes. "So what, Ashton is allowed to have sex with strangers but I don't?" I complained, still not really getting why I was still sitting down instead of just walking away.

"I don't have sex to forget people, but you do," Ashton said and I looked up at him. "You told me yourself, you're still in love with her and she isn't in love with you anymore. This isn't healthy, Cal," he said and I sighed.

"I know, okay? Fuck - I know." I said, playing with the ring on my finger. "But if I stop, I'll lose her forever. I can't lose her, okay? I can't." I said almost defeated. Ashton patted me on the back. "I see this slowly breaking you, I've known you longer than today, mate. You're basically hurting yourself by sleeping with her," he said and I sighed, trying my best to hold my tears in. I hated crying and I didn't want to start in public.

"It's not healthy," he repeated and I nodded. "I know," I mumbled.

Of course, I knew this wasn't healthy, but I wasn't going to stop. Nothing they could say would make me stop going to her over and over again.

"You were a mess after you two broke up, I've seen you, Calum. The last months I slowly started to think you were getting back on track and now..." Luke said. Michael agreed on that. "The fans notice it as well, every time we play ghost of you you look like you're ready to start crying," he said and I bit my lip. "Look - I know. I just need some time to figure this all out, okay? I just need some time." I said and bit my lip again.

There was nothing to figure out, I had lost her seven months ago but I was still trying to hold on a bit. If I let go of this thing we have, she would disappear.

"Just be careful, okay? I don't need to see history repeating itself." Michael said, probably hinting towards the whole Luke and Arzaylea situation. I nodded. "I'll be fine. Can we just don't talk about it tonight? I want to have a fun night out, okay? Next week is going to be really busy and we won't have much time to do anything fun besides performing, so, please. One fun night." I begged them.

"Of course we can," Ashton said before holding his beer up. "To the last week of the US part of the tour!" he said before taking a big sip of his beer.

Time flies by, apparently. It had been a month since the tour started and next week we would fly out to Australia. It would be weird to be back in Australia and see my parents and old friends again after a long time, but it was something to look forward to.

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shorter chapter bc im lazy and tired and calum is b r o k e n