track and trace // calum hood

31 | Elizabeth

yo so if ya hadnt noticed calum has some issues with saying how he feels and talk about his emotions and life n stuff and thats frustrating for him so keep that in mind as u read this chapter sksk

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I felt like the universe had stopped working today.

Curled up in my bed, I could see my phone light up from all the messages I was getting. More hate tweets, more death threats, more messages saying I should just kill myself.

I didn't even know what happened at the show last night. Everything was a blur. I hadn't slept the night before, so I was already feeling like shit, but then ghost of you started and I could feel myself finally breaking down. To make sure no one would actually witness me crying, I made my way backstage and had locked myself in a bathroom stall.

It wasn't until I had texted Crystal that I wasn't feeling well and had taken a cab home and reached the hotel that I heard Calum apparently had cried during the show and couldn't even finish his part of the song.

I didn't even know why he was crying, was he really that upset that I broke it off? There had to be another reason, but I didn't have the energy to even talk to him, it would only hurt me even more.

Everyone hated me, all the fans kept sending me hate, saying that I was the reason that Calum was crying, but I didn't even know what was going on, I hadn't even talked to Calum since two nights ago.

I was avoiding everyone, Ashton had called me a few times and Crystal and Sierra kept texting me every five minutes, but I couldn't find the energy to answer them.

I just wanted to be left alone.

Ever since last night, my anxiety was sky high. I just felt alone and upset and people were actually trying to find out my address and sending me death threats and telling me they want me to kill myself because Calum cried at the show. I didn't ask for any of this. I just did what I thought was best for me.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. I looked up for a second but decided to ignore it and looked back at the ceiling, but the knocking became for intensified

"C'mon, Liz, I know you're in there," An all too familiar voice said. I slowly got up out of bed and pulled on some sweatpants. "Liz, don't make me break that door open, please." the voice said, clearly more irritated now. "I'm coming," I mumbled before making my way to the door and opening it.

Calum looked tired and his eyes were still a little red and puffy. He looked like shit.

"What do you want?" I said, crossing my arms. He walked into my hotel room and I raised my eyebrow, following him. "Why?" he asked and I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Why what?" I asked him.

"Why suddenly stop, after almost two months of sleeping together, with this whole friends with benefits things?" he asked and I sighed. "Do I owe you a reason?" I hated that he was being so pushy, couldn't he just accept the fact that I couldn't do it anymore. "Well, you kinda do," he said as he crossed his arms as well.

Calum could be quite intimidating if you didn't know him, especially in the way he looked right now, with his arms crossed, being really tall and with a frustrated facial expression.

"It's not like you gave me a good reason for us breaking up." I shot back and Calum raised his eyebrow, taken aback by my sudden frustration. "Excuse me? We were getting toxic for each other. We were fighting every time we were near each other. Does that not qualify as a good reason, huh?" he said, his voice getting lower everytime he talked.

As usual, we were totally missing the point of the conversation by starting another fight.

"We got toxic? Sure, Cal." I said. "You were never even home after the tour ended, you were always gone and when you did come home you always complained." I was getting more frustrated. I know we both had a blame in our relationship ending all those months ago, but I wasn't fucking toxic.

"Because you were always bitchin' about how I was never home and how you wished I'd spend more time at fucking home. I was gone on a fucking world tour, Elizabeth, I hadn't seen my friends in LA in months, fucking excuse me if I wanted to see them." Calum said, raising his voice.

"Sure, but when I was hanging out with my friends, you thought I was cheating on you. You fucking yelled at me because you thought I was banging Alex!"

"Well, it wouldn't surprise me if you did, you're apparently fucking Ashton too, so you're capable of anything," he said and I raised my eyebrow. "Sleeping with As- I'm not fucking sleeping with your best friend, and even if I did that would be none of your business," I said and he let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Sure, Elizabeth." He said. I hated when he said my full name with the tone he was using right now. "And you wonder why I don't wanna have sex with you anymore. You're being incredibly shitty, you know that, right?" I said and he rolled his eyes. "Apparently that's just who I am, isn't it?" he snapped.

"You act like you're the victim but you're not!" I said and Calum let out another one of his sarcastic chuckles. "So what? You're the victim? Please." He said and I let out a groan in frustration.

"Jesus fucking Christ Calum!" I yelled out. This was a perfect example of what happened during our relationship. One little thing exploding into this huge mess. "I don't get why you're so upset that I broke this fuckrelationship off, Calum. You're literally banging every girl that comes near you, you don't fucking need me."

Calum looked like he was ready to pull out his own hair. "Because I fucking -" he started, but cut himself off. "I thought - Fuck!" he said. "You don't just get to fucking end this without talking to me first." He said and I couldn't understand the emotion in his voice.

"You did that to me eight months ago, so why not?" I snapped back at him. "I fucking talked to you, Elizabeth! We were a mess, we weren't happy anymore, we weren't in fucking love with each other anymore, we were just hurting each other! It was a fucking mutual decision!" he yelled, making me even angrier. "And that's where you're wrong! You basically told me to break us up, you told me! You couldn't do it so I had to, there was nothing mutual about it!" I yelled back at him.

"So, what? I should've continued to stay with you even though we clearly weren't happy with each other?"

The anger and frustration at his voice made him even more intimidating and I knew that this discussion was pointless, but I just - I loved him so much and he made everything so hard because it wasn't mutual.

"You should've come and talked to me about the issues we had instead of yell at me, going to Ashton's and come back just to fucking break up with me and leave me fucking heartbroken for months!" I yelled.

"Sure, whatever. You're being pathetic. I did what I had to." He yelled.

"You're fans are sending me death threats, wanna know why? Because they blame me. They blame me because you cried at the fucking show. They tell me to kill myself. So thanks for that."

"You're acting as I can fucking control what the fans say, I didn't force them to say that about you, Liz!"

"You're acting like you never gave a fuck about me," I said. "I fucking cared, Elizabeth. I love - I loved you so fucking much but we were hurting each other. Think about all the times I made you cry, think about all the times you made me cry when we were dating. We couldn't continue on and someone had to put an end to it and it fucking broke my heart, you know it did. Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I ever did." He yelled. "But don't act like it's my fault!"

"Tommy would've fucking stayed," I yelled out without even thinking about it twice.

I just was so angry and frustrated by the fact that I was so madly in love with Calum and I didn't even understand my own emotions anymore and he didn't tell me his emotions because he was being fucking stubborn like always and I just - I don't know.

I just said it.

Like that.

I regretted it the second the words fell out of my mouth, but I didn't have time to say anything else.

Suddenly - everything seemed to go really fast. Calum's hand suddenly went up and next thing I knew I had my back pressed against the wall and my arms shielding my face.

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*hides from all yo comments that are coming in 3....2.....1*

yoo rosie dani n iz, jill helped me out with this chapter again just to hurt u xoxo