Spider-Man Imagines I

That's Okay | Flash Thompson [TR]

"I can't do this anymore."

You stared at him blankly. At first, it didn't register. He can't do what anymore? Your eyebrows furrowed and you gave a quick shake of your head, signaling your confusion.

And then, after a slip of breath came out of your boyfriend's lips, you understood.

And all at once, you shattered.

Oh, you thought, and you realized that Flash wasn't holding your hand back. It was just you, fingers spread out against his palm that was limp. His eyes weren't wide with happiness and love. He was staring at you with a sad expression.

A look full of so much pity and sorrow that you felt bile grow in the back of your throat.

Just two weeks ago, this boy had said he loved you. He had kept his hand on your waist all day, periodically kissing your head, telling you were beautiful, telling you that you made him happy-

But those memories felt distant now, with the two weeks of forced distance he placed between you and the echo of the words I can't do this anymore still floating around your head.

Oh, you thought again, and you pulled your hand back, moving it to tuck under your arm and at your side.

He sighed. "I'm sorry."

You forced yourself to look away from him. You focused on a crack in the sidewalk and gulped, your throat dry and burning. You gave another quick shake of your head, but it wasn't out of confusion. It was hurt now.

You looked back at him. "Can I ask why?" you whispered. Embarrassingly enough, your voice broke. "One and a half years, Flash-"

"I know," he said. "I just don't love you anymore."

A dagger in your heart. Acid pulled up in your throat. You were going to be sick.

He fell out of love with you that fast?

This time, you said your thoughts out loud. "Oh," you barely breathed.

"I'm so sorry," Flash said. "You're a great girl, ___, and you didn't do anything wrong."

That's bull. All of this... he's lying. He doesn't love you. That's not something that's wrong with him. Not loving you is just his feelings. He fell out of love because of you.

"You're gorgeous, okay? And funny, and one day, some guy is gonna love you-"

"Don't," you suddenly spat, and you could look at him. His mouth shut. "Don't you dare." You shook your head. He was saying these things because you were insecure, because he was the first and only boy to find you attractive, because he was the first one to love you-

He knew you well enough that he could practically read your thoughts. "___-"

"Goodbye, Flash," you said. You grabbed your backpack off the porch step and hurried down the sidewalk. He called after you, but he didn't follow to walk you home.

You guessed falling out of love with someone means you don't need to protect them anymore.

...

It seemed hopeless at first. Going from your happiness to the lowest point of your life in just one moment was a huge blow. It hurt you to even wake up in the morning, because you were so used to thinking about him.

There weren't any butterflies in your tummy when you thought of him now. You were hollow.

You didn't really see Flash at school anymore, and rumor was that he was really slipping on his grades. He was constantly absent and almost always in detention, but you gradually stopped caring. If he didn't want to take care of himself, so what? He fell out of love with you. You could fall out of love with him.

On a chilly Friday afternoon, you checked out of the library a stack of books. Since your ex boyfriend was also your ex best friend, you didn't have plans, but that meant that you could easily read four books a week.

With a stack of contemporary novels in arm, you left the library with a small smile. The thought of reading excited you. You could escape this world for just a while, forget about homework and stress and how lonely you were, and-

"___?"

You stopped.

Oh no. Your gut filled with dread and you felt the echo in the hollow of your stomach again. It was a sickening feeling.

And when you turned to face Flash, seeing him for the first time in two months, it grew worse.

Because he looked so awful-

"___," he said again, and it sounded pleading.

He was wringing his hands. Gulping, he took a step towards you.

You took one giant step back and shook your head.

"___," he said again.

"No," you whispered. "I... can't."

"I know," he choked, and he was crying. "I hurt you. But if you only knew why-"

"I don't care," you said. "I don't want to know. I want you to leave me alone, Flash, because-" When he opened his mouth to talk, you rose your voice. "Because I'm finally getting over you!"

He looked down at his shoes. His hair was longer, and he had more muscles. Way more muscles. And his cheeks were so hollow...

"Flash," you whispered, "you hurt me so bad, you know that, right?"

"I know," he said. He closed his eyes. "But ___, if you only knew why... you'd know that I only ever did it to keep you safe."

"How is hurting me the way to keep me safe?" you asked.

"It was the only way I could think of, and I'm sorry."

"No. No, Flash." You held your chin up high. You still sounded broken (gosh, did you sound broken) but you pretended to be brave and strong and whole. "This can't happen. You can't talk to me. Maybe one day we can be friends, but that'll be a while. I can forgive you, but that's all for now. Is that okay?"

He paused for a moment. Then, barely above a whisper, his hoarse voice responded: "That's okay."

"Okay," you said. You gave him one last once over. He looked really bad. What happened?

No. He wasn't your boyfriend anymore. You didn't need to worry.

You looked at your books and ran your fingers down the spines. "Um. Bye, Flash."

"Bye," he whispered behind you as you walked down the hallway.

He wasn't your boyfriend anymore. He didn't love you and you didn't love him. You didn't need to worry about him.

Still, you did.