Demina sucked in a deep breath, willing her heart to stop beating so fast. She quietly went into the room that she would be sharing with Avelyn and started getting ready for bed. The events in the barn replayed in her mind over and over again, leaving her confused and hopeful. Why did he make her feel this way? Why did Castiel have such an effect on her? There had only ever been one person who’d made her feel so contradictory. She wanted to run as far away from him as fast and soon possible but she also wished she could stay in his arms forever. It unnerved her. And the way he looked at her. Seeing her flaws and mistakes, knowing her innermost feelings without her having to say a word, however hurtful they were, and accepting her. Not the mistakes and flaws, but her. His eyes still shone with...She stilled, sinking down next to the window, paralyzed, scarcely able to breathe. She stared out the window at the barn, the moonlight making it clear to see it. Dare she even think such a thing? Dare she hope a PRINCE would even think about...loving...her? She wasn’t worth it. She was hurtful, wounded, and scared. How could he? How could he see this and still be so gentle, so kind to her?
And if she said she loved him also, would that be betraying Chase?
“Demi? Are you alright?” Avelyn soft voice floated through the air, sounding so loud in the silence, “Demi, what’s wrong? Did something happen with Castiel?”
“Ava...” Demina finally tore her gaze away from the barn and met her friend’s concerned gaze, “I...I think I’m falling in love with Castiel.”
Avelyn grinned, squealing and lighting a lantern. She pulled Demi up, and hugged her before they both sat on the bed. Demina had to laugh at her. She was too funny. Her face was eager as she leaned forward.
“I knew it! I knew this was going to happen! Tell me everything. Start from the beginning and don’t leave anything out.”
Demi suddenly felt shy and she glanced down at her hands, twisting them nervously.
“I mean, there is not much to tell. He makes me feel...weird.”
Avelyn frowned.
“Weird, how? Demi, there are so many different types of weird! For example, there is the weird feeling in your stomach that makes you nauseous or that weird feeling that you get when someone strange is watching you. That’s the bad kind of weird, though.”
“Is there a good kind?” Demi asked hesitantly, “If there is, that’s...that’s the kind of weird I mean.”
Avelyn face softened as she took Demina’s hands. Demina was rarely so unsure of herself. It was strange to see her so shy and confused.
“Yes. There is,” she said gently. They pulled the covers over themselves and she blew out the lantern, leaving only the glow of moonlight. Demina thought that answer over, ushering in silence.
“Ava?”
“Hmm?”
“How did you know that you loved Jaxon? How were you absolutely certain that he was someone that you could spend the rest of your life with?”
Avelyn swallowed.
“To be honest, Demi, I didn’t. Not until he was captured. Now the thought of him...dying, forces me imagine life without him. And I...I can’t.”
Demina was silent, thinking.
“What about Chase? How did you know you loved him?”
“I...I, oh, Avelyn! How can I be in love with Castiel? How can I betray Chase?”
Avelyn gripped her hand tightly.
“Demina, listen to me. Does Castiel make you happy?” she asked earnestly.
Demina found herself smiling.
“Yes...when he is not annoying me.”
“Do you not think...Chase would have wanted you to be happy then? You are not betraying him. The Chase I knew would’ve stepped out of the way if you had told him you were happy with another man. Because he loved you that much.”
Demina sighed, looking away and hugging her pillow.
“I don’t know, Ava.”
“Well...Castiel is in love with you.”
“He...is? How could he be?”
Avelyn grinned, yawning and squeezing her hand.
“I don’t know, Demi. You’d have to ask him.”
