In love with Shrek and Donkey

beat down

( sorry I haven't wrote here in a while but anyway) It had been a week since charming and I went on our first week . I had felt us getting closer each day . He would pick me up from my house every other night for a date . This night he was going to take me to Golden Corral. so romantic. I got ready and headed out the door . I got a text from my phone . It was the prince . "Hey I had to take a big dump before I left , so I'll be there in 10 " . I sighed . I was about to head back inside until I heard a door open . It was Fiona . I tried to rush inside but she started to talk . "So .. you and charming are together ?" She said as she closed the door behind her . I turned around and replied "yes, jealous? 😘" . Her face became red . "He'll never love you the way he loved me ... and my green goey curves ". I was about to say something until I saw her starting to put her nasty rat hair up. I was not about to get beat up by her . I put my hair up as well , took off my earrings , my shoes , my bra . I even handed over my life alert necklace because I knew she would need it . She raced towards me and plopped herself on my entire body . I saw Jesus himself for 2.3 seconds . I knew I couldn't let her win so I grabbed her boob and swung her off of me . I can't remember much but by the end of the fight , I was on top of her while she was trying to punch my face . We were both swinging hard until we both saw blue and red flashing lights . We didn't care though , we kept going . In a matter of seconds two police officers were pulling us off of each other . drool and sweat was all over us and I'm pretty sure Fiona lost another tooth . They threw handcuffs on us and put us in the back of the police car . As they were asking us questions . We saw prince pull up and he immediately saw us . At the same time shrek and donkey came out with a few neighbors . I was so embarrassed. Fiona made me look like a fool just like her . As we drove away , donkey was recording while shrek and Prince Charming both looked upset . I didn't even look at Fiona on the way there . We didn't even talk trash . I think we were both just scared to go to jail....