Loneliness is a Bitch

it's been rough

you know when you have one of those days

a day where you feel like everything you once cared about and enjoyed just turned dull and you aren't interested in it anymore

where everyone just turns against you for absolutely nothing; just you being yourself. Your family, friends, literally people who don't even know you but somehow just make you feel awful

you feel like your whole world has some how found its way to put the last and final bullet into your heart

I can't give up

I just can't

what's the purpose in staying alive or dying?

no one cares

everyone is against you

the world is against you

I'm against myself

today happened to be one of those days

someone yelled at and made fun of me for something that I enjoy. maybe I don't do exactly what I'm supposed to do when I do it, but I absolutely love it. And someone took that joy away from me just because they were annoyed.

my brother somehow got under my skin and made me feel bad for loving something that makes me so goddamn happy, makes my life worth living.

I can barely do what I used to be really good at a few months ago. I used to find it exciting, I used to want to do it all the time to get better. Now because of the events of today, I practically failed at it. Doesn't help that today was an important day not to fuck up doing it. But I did, because I let my emotions get to me.

I wish that shit didn't get to me

but it does and it hurts so fucking bad

I just want to stop all this pain

I want it all to just stop

how can I make this shit stop?

it's one of those days, hopefully the next day will be better

because that's the only thing pushing me towards tomorrow

that hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

~brick